I Just Want to Say Goodbye
by NevalineCaroline
Summary: What if Daniel Jackson had a sister? What if she went to Atlantis? What if she met a certain charming doctor there? Rated M for later chapters CB/OC
1. Oh crap

_**I'm really sorry for being – at times – too much disgusting because of Carson. You should have seen the original version.**_

"Oh for crying out loud Daniel! No!" I sighed in exasperation and turned to look at my brother yet again.

"All I'm saying is that it may not be the best idea for you. I mean... We don't even know where it is yet. And it's going to be extremely dangerous. Do you really want to risk that?" I rolled my eyes.

"Aw! You're just jealous that they gave _me_ the job but left _you _out." He started to open his mouth again but I cut him off. "That was a compliment. It means you're invaluable. Where as _I _am just the fifth wheel. You already have a genius physicist on your team and they asked for me specifically. I mean, how could I say no to that? It is_ Atlantis _we're talking about." Daniel sighed.

"I know. I'm sorry. It's just... I'll miss you. I mean, I just got my baby sister back and now she's leaving..."

"Whoa! Hold on. First of all, I'm not your baby sister. I'm only seven years younger then you are. And second, what do you mean you just got me back? I've been working with you for the last seven years! And this isn't goodbye. You still have the Prometheus. You can drop by and visit any time you want now that we know the address."

"Sure. 'Cause colonel Caldwell will be just delighted to hear from me. 'Hello colonel. Would you mind giving me a lift to wherever Atlantis is to see my sister? I really miss her. Thanks a lot.'" I smiled.

"Well I will certainly miss your sparkling sense of humor." This time he rolled his eyes. I frowned a little and looked around. "Speaking of missing people, have you seen Rodney around? I haven't seen him in ages and we have some catching up to do."

"No, I haven't. But I still don't get how you can stand him. I mean he's so... annoying, arrogant... "

"…standing right behind you." A voice I knew for most of my life spoke behind us. I spun around facing the irritated astrophysicist and hugged him.

"Rodney! So nice to see you. What have you been up to?" Rodney withdrew and smiled.

"The usual, amongst which making amazing scientific discoveries that I won't even get a Nobel Prize for stands out immensely."

"Well that's what I'm here for. So you can boast and have someone at least pretending to listen to you."

"Oh get a room you two." Daniel mumbled and left us, saying something about translating some stuff.

"He really doesn't like me, does he?" I laughed.

"Well don't take this the wrong way Rodney, but you're a kind of an acquired taste."

"How can I possibly take that the wrong way?" He said in his typical sarcastic voice. "By the way, I'm trying to persuade this guy who has the ancient gene to try to activate the chair. Wanna come along?"

"Sure." We started walking in the direction of the chair room. "But why would you have to _persuade _the guy?"

"Well, he's... new to this." I raised my eyebrow. "He _just_ found out about the Star Gate. And he's... well, let's say he's freaking out a bit."

"Who wouldn't?" I chuckled.

"Yes. Well, he is the only one except general O'Neill about whom we know that he actually has the ancient gene. _And_ he was the one who discovered it. And for a reason that is beyond me, I was told to get him to power up the ancient chair. And – I hate to admit it – but I guess I could use some help." I laughed.

"Rodney McKay. Are you really asking me for help?" He sighed impatiently.

"Yeah. Well, don't get used to it."

"Oh trust me. I know you well enough not to."

We entered the chair room and once more I marveled at the design created by a species so much older then our own. The chair was standing on the platform it did the last time, but I guess it's not very mobile, so moving it around wasn't really an option. And in the chair sat a black haired guy with blue eyes and exasperated expression on his face. My heart skipped a beat but I was determined not to show it. Instead, I followed Rodney to the man who was staring at me now.

"So. Any progress?" Rodney asked. The man opened his mouth but Rodney cut him off immediately. "Of course not. What was I thinking? So let's try again. Shall we? Oh." Finally noticing the fact that the man was looking at me, he sighed. "To get the pleasantries over and done with, this is doctor Emily Jackson, a friend of mine that shall be helping us. And this is..."

"Carson... Beckett. Pleased to meet you." The man had a strong Scottish accent. He held out his hand."Just call me Carson." I smiled at him and shook it.

"Hi Carson. It's nice to meet you too. And you can call me Emily."

"Yes. Well, while this is all very nice, we should really be getting back to trying to turn the chair on. So if you don't mind..." I sighed and looked at McKay reproachfully. As always completely oblivious to what was happening around him, he turned to the man... Carson, and started instructing him. I stopped listening after a few words. I could feel _him_ staring at me and it was very uncomfortable but pleasant at the same time.

Suddenly, one of the drones another scientist – Grodin – was working on powered up and shot through the elevator shaft and out into the open skies of Antarctica. Carson's eyes filled with horror.

"What did I do?" Dr. Weir and Daniel came running to us. Carson looked at Rodney. "I told you I was the wrong person." I looked at Dr. Weir, terrified.

"Isn't Jack on his way in a helicopter?" She nodded, the same panic I felt spreading in her eyes. Rodney turned to Carson with determination.

"What you did doesn't matter now. Do something!"

"Like what?" I looked at Carson taking a deep breath to calm myself.

"Okay, Carson, concentrate on turning that weapon down before it hurts someone." He looked at me and closed his eyes again. I could feel the tension building around. He sat there for what seemed like an eternity. Then he opened his eyes, smiling in relief.

"I think I did it." The tension started to dissolve but the question hovered above our heads. Did the rescue come too late?

Suddenly a soldier ran towards us.

"Major Sheppard is reporting the drone appears to have been incapacitated. General O'Neill's helicopter is unharmed, and on its way again. Seven minutes out." Relief hit everyone.

"Thank god." Weir whispered.

"Holy crap." Was all Carson could get out of him. I patted his back and went to the nearest laptop that was analyzing the chair to see the results.

_**This it the first chapter. If you liked it, please review. Otherwise I don't know what to improve.**_

_**NC**_


	2. Of Remote Planets

**Alright. This will be a tiny bit different from the way the first episode of SGA went but only in minor details. The details that will allow the existence of the genius of Emily Jackson. Also, I would like to thank everyone that favorited/added/reviewed my story. I was completely sure I wouldn't be able to write more than that one chapter, but you guys forced me to get on my ass and write another one! And that does not happen often.**

After weeks of preparations, the expedition that was to be sent to the Pegasus galaxy far far away was waiting in the gate room, ready for departure. And I was among them. Me. And I was going to Atlantis... Eat that Daniel! Rodney was being an insufferable prat as always, letting anyone and everyone around him know that he was going to be the scientific leader of the expedition. But then again if he wasn't so insufferable, he wouldn't be the Rodney I learned to love in high school and college, so I patiently listened to him prattle about how it was such a shame I didn't get the job, but that it was understandable, seeing that he did an extensive research on the Star Gate while I was out there, chasing aliens around. I wasn't jealous. Not at all. Because when it comes to breaking bread, it is always me pulling Rodney's strings. And I'll be the only one in Atlantis who will be able to at least lessen his rashness.

But back to the gate room. We were standing there, all dressed for the occasion in the new uniforms, and I had to try really hard not to look in one particular direction where a particular Scottish someone was trying to catch my attention. But he wouldn't have it.

"Hey Emms." I gritted my teeth and rolled my eyes. Carson learned that nickname from Rodney and clearly decided he was going to torture me with it.

"Hey Carson, how was home?" From what he told me, Carson went back home to Scotland to see his family and flew in just yesterday. I didn't need to go anywhere to see my family. I had Daniel and Rodney and that was it. Sure there was always the rest of the team, but Daniel was my brother and I practically grew up with Rodney. They were my family.

"Great, as always. I'm going to miss it..." I grinned and opened my mouth to say something, but I was rudely interrupted by Elizabeth. She gave a short speech about how we were the best of the best and how we were free to turn away (no one did) and then they dialed the gate. I was quite nervous as we were getting to chevron six and only when chevron eight locked, I exhaled. After a MALP was sent, we finally moved out and I turned back to wave to Daniel for the last time as I stepped through the Gate with Rodney and Carson.

We emerged in a dark room with columns and I had to admit I was just a tiny bit disappointed. It all looked so empty...

Suddenly, something started glowing in front of us and everything started coming to life. I took a couple of uncertain steps forward but then remembered the seven years spent in SGC and got a tiny bit more confident. This wasn't my first alien planet after all.

I walked towards now fully glowing stairs and walked up, looking at my equipment. Everything seemed to be normal so far, but that could change within a couple of seconds. Keeping a wary eye, I walked a couple of more steps forward towards the window and frowned.

It was dark outside. But it was a strange dark. Not a starry night but a strange moving mass. I looked a tiny bit more carefully...

We were under water. The entire city was submerged under what looked like quite a bit of water... okay. That was an understatement. It was much more than just a bit of water. I stared outside and I could just make out the outlines of what looked a gigantic Ancient city. Sighing a bit, I smiled at the place that was to become my home and turned to where Grobin was just heading.

"Found anything interesting?" He raised his eyebrows and I laughed. "Excluding the obvious of course."

"We found what appears to be the command room. That's where I'm heading." I grinned and went along with him up the stairs and into a room filled with consoles. I exhaled. I was in heaven. All this Ancient technology... But before we were able to get that to work, I would have to make do with the Earth technology we had with us.

Fortunately, these consoles were very similar to the Antarctic chair and so I was able to hook up one of the laptops with a console and dive into all the data. From what I could tell from the schematics of the city that I found, we were somewhere in the middle of an enormous complex submerged at the bottom of the ocean. I frowned slightly when I saw what was preventing all the water from rushing in. It was a force shield. I immediately found what was giving the city its power and my heart skipped a beat when I saw what was going on.

"Grobin, go get Rodney here! _Now_!" I snapped. "And tell him to stop turning things on and to turn everything off!" I managed to shout before he got out of earshot and I looked at the readings again.

The city was powered by three ZPMs, but that was a long time ago. Currently only one ZPM was still operative, and too close to entropy for my liking.

"What is it?" I turned to see Rodney, Elizabeth, colonel Sumner, major Sheppard, Grobin and Carson behind me and I silently pointed at the laptop screen. Rodney raised his eyebrows but looked anyways. And the moment he saw, he grew incredibly pale.

"What is it Doctor?" Rodney and I exchanged a glance and turned to Elizabeth.

"You have to tell everyone to stop exploring the city and to switch everything they turned on off again." Elizabeth nodded at colonel Sumner and then turned back to us as he was giving the order.

"What's going on?"

"Power levels are dropping like a stone! If we don't stop everything we're doing right now, we're dead." I could see Carson grow a bit pale.

"Please tell me it's not my fault." Rodney rolled his eyes.

"No."

"Thank you!" Carson looked relieved but I shot Rodney an annoyed glare. I was the only one who noticed the double meaning behind the word and I hoped he would at the very least have the decency to look ashamed. But he continued his explanations while going through the data in the computer again, as if his halo was blinding him to the fact that he was indeed a gigantic asshole.

"The city is powered by three Zero Point Modules. Two are depleted, the third is reaching entropy. When it does, it'll die too." It was obvious that this explanation was completely wasted on the audience.

"Just tell me the bottom line." I turned to colonel Sumner.

"The shields all over the city are failing and those parts are being flooded." Sheppard shot me a worried look.

"What happens if it fails completely?" Rodney was already deep in his _too-busy-to communicate _place to even pretend he was capable of being polite.

"It's a matter of when, not if."

"How much time do we have?" I shook my head.

"Not much. The shield has held for so long, but we changed that by our arrival. We can't turn off everything. We still need the life support. And that will keep draining the power. It doesn't leave us with many options. We have hours. A day at the most. And our own power generators won't be enough. We need more ZPMs." Sumner shot me a cold look.

"How do we do that if we can't search?" Rodney was clearly suppressing a rude remark.

"If there were more, we'd detect them."

"Can we use the stargte?"

"Not enough power to reach the Earth." Major Sheppard shifted his weight from foot to foot.

"Maybe somewhere in this galaxy." I grinned at the major as I noticed Rodney's _this-might-actually-work_ expression.

"That's relatively easy." He walked over to the dialing console. "Fortunately, some Ancient technology still uses good old-fashioned buttons. We've accessed the stargate controls and a library of gate addresses." Grobin grinned.

"That's not all. Look at this..." He pushed a button and a force field appeared on the stargate.

"Just like the iris on the Earth gate." Colonel Sumner commented and I could see Rodney wincing.

"Using power, using power, using power..." Grobin took the hint and turned the shield off. Elizabeth looked a bit pleased.

"At least we won't have uninvited guests." She turned to Sumner. "Colonel, assemble a team. We need safe harbour or another power source." She then turned to Sheppard. "Major, I'd like you to go along." He stood up and nodded.

"Yes, ma'am." He left and Elizabeth looked at Rodney.

"Alright. Pick an address and start dialing."

* * *

><p>On the sidelines. I hoped this wouldn't happen, but as fate and chance (a.k.a. quantum physics) would have it, it did indeed happen. And now I was standing here, in front of the stargate, extremely nervous.<p>

The recon mission didn't go as expected. Some of our people were kidnapped and a rescue team was sent. I volunteered of course, knowing fully well that we do not leave our people behind. But apparently, there wasn't a free spot for a nerd like me, albeit a nerd that has been in SG-1 for the past seven years. And so I was just standing here, staring at the stargate. While I could have started exploring the lost city of Atlantis I might add. Maybe find myself a nice condo with the ocean view...

"Hey Emms." I turned around and smiled slightly.

"Hi Carson." He walked over to stand next to me, both of us staring at the gate.

"Doctor McKay sent me." I shot him a _well duh_ look and then turned my attention back to the great big ring in front of us.

"I'm fine. I just need to get used to this. Not always being there for the action... I'll miss it."

"At least you won't get yourself hurt so much." I opened my mouth to respond but I was interrupted by major Lorne who materialized as if out of nowhere.

"Doctor Jackson, do you think I could have a word?" I nodded and smiled at Carson.

"Thanks anyway." He smiled back and nodded and I turned to major Lorne grinning.

"It's great to see you major. I heard you were coming along. How is the family?"

"They're fine. Would you like to have a walk?" I nodded and we set out through the corridors in silence, admiring the city. But the silence didn't last long.

"I need to talk to you about something." I smirked and rolled my eyes.

"You don't say." He snorted and shot me a slightly amused look.

"So I'll get to the point then. From what I understand, I'll get to pick a team soon and I'd like you in it." I stopped and stared at him in shock. This was unexpected. I thought no one wanted the nerdy kid on their team. But then again, Lorne knew me back at SGC. He knew I wasn't just a nerd. He also knew, however, that I don't always stick to protocol.

"Have you thought about this major? You do know how much trouble Jack had with me while I was in SG-1. And you know Daniel. The rebellious gene runs in the family, you know. And it does _not_ skip a generation." He grinned.

"Yes, I know. That's kind of why I want you. To keep the team in check. Plus, we'll need your over sized, super smart brain to get us out of trouble."

"And here I was thinking you want me for my body." He laughed at that and then raised his eyebrow.

"So? Will you?" I shot him an uncertain look.

"I'll have to think about it..." I laughed at his surprised expression. "Of course I will you idiot. I can't wait to get off world."

"Not to burst your bubble or anything, but you _are_ of world." I groaned. We were in Atlantis for not even a day and already was this line harshly overused. "It's great to have you on the team." I grinned.

"It's great to be in one."

We walked on for a couple of minutes, until a very annoyed Rodney radioed me, apparently furious why the hell wasn't I in the control room with him, doing my share. After I pacified him, I turned to Lorne apologetically.

"Now _him_ I don't want."

"He's not that bad once you get to know him." He looked at me thoughtfully.

"How _did_ you meet him?" I shrugged.

"After middle school, the family that adopted me moved to Canada and I met Rodney at school. I hated him at first, but then he kind of grew on me." I shrugged again. "I got sent off to college early, so I was finished with my degree by the time I was twenty two. The SGC contacted me then, offering me a job. I told them about the genius of Rodney McKay and the rest is history." Lorne smirked.

"Well I'm not sure if I should thank you or leave you stranded on a remote planet." I looked back the way we came glumly.

"Oh don't worry. I reckon that after the next hour or so, I will beg you to leave me stranded on a planet. Preferably as far from the lunatic and his bossing around as possible. Or better yet, leave him stranded on a remote planet. With lots and lots of lemon trees." I laughed at his raised eyebrows.

"I thought that he wasn't that bad, once you get to know him."

"Oh he's not. But even a slightly better Rodney is still a pain in the ass. Especially now that he's my boss." I growled slightly and he laughed.

"_Emily Jackson, get your ass into the control room before I tell your brother what happened with that very rare rock he brought from R6Y-739 that you now use as paperweight._" I nodded in Lorne's direction, turning around and walking back to the control room, while turning on my headset to answer my boss.

"_You forget that we can't communicate with Earth, nor with my brother. And remember. If it comes to threats, I can tell everyone here on Atlantis a thing or two about you, Mere..."_

"_Okay, okay I get it._" I smirked at the couple of choice swear words he decided to answer me with as I put a little bit of skip in my step. Working with Rodney might turn out to be as a much more enjoyable experience after all.

**A/N: So we know a tiny bit more about Emily. Sorry about the minimal Emily/Carson interaction, but I can promise more in the next chapter. A warning: I shall not be changing much about what happens in the original story. I'm just adding Emily. So you yourselves can guess what will come. And if you want to read what will happen to Emily.**

**Anyways... quit the babbling, start writing another chapter.**

**NC**

**P.S.: Please leave a lovely (or not so lovely) review to kick my ass into actually doing something... I found out that reviews make lovely kicking shoes... Okay. Babbling again. Better stop before I make a complete lunatic of myself...Oops... Too late...**


	3. The Line

**Hello there. After a brief (ha ha) pause, I'm back again with another chapter. In this one, we will see a bit more of Emily's darker side as she has to deal with some drama. I would also like to thank all of you who favourited/followed this story (or me) and especially big thanks to HiveQueen, KevlarKitten, Castiana Rain and you guest, whoever you may be for your reviews. Until today I had no idea how to respond to reviews but I figured it out! (Clever, clever me). So without any more of my blabbering (yeah right), on with the story!**

**Warning: Some language in this 'un.**

* * *

><p>"<em>Take cover<em>!" I jumped behind the closest rock I could see, breathing heavily. What was supposed to be your garden variety recon turned out to be a wraith-infested cabbage patch. So nothing unusual really. I saw Eriksen and Simmons leaning against nearby trees and Lorne on the ground behind a bush. He signaled us and I thanked my lucky stars that I was in SG-1, because otherwise I would have had no idea what the hell he was trying to tell me. Instead, I just nodded and took a deep breath. Five, four, three, two..._One!_

I jumped away from the rock as Eriksen, Simmons and Lorne covered me from behind, and sprinted in the direction of the gate. After a couple of paces, I frowned though, shooting a weary look behind me. Something was wrong. The gunfire didn't cease, but it was left far behind me. There were no signs of my team. I swore and turned arounddeciding to go back for them.

_"Jackson, continue to the gate! Erikson got hit and..." _I could hear a wraith stunner hitting something from his side_. "SIMMONS GOT HIT TOO! Go back to Atlantis and send a rescue..." _My breath caught when suddenly, Lorne's voice turned into static. I couldn't move. This was bad. I was the only one left. How the _hell _was I supposed to make it to the gate without them getting me too?

_Pull_ _yourself together. This isn't the first time you're in this situation._

I took a deep breath and started running for the gate again. My team got captured. The best thing I could do was to make sure I don't get captured too and that I make it back to Atlantis. They'll send a rescue mission which I shall take part in whatever whoever says and I'll get to kick their asses into next week. And I'm _not_ talking about the wraith. The idiots shouldn't have let themselves get captured.

I was practically fuming. I could hear the wraith behind me and knew that only the fact that I was zigzagging between the trees was protecting me from being hit by the incessant shots whizzing past me. And it was only that part of me I discovered after I met my brother, the sensible part, that was stopping me from turning around and taking down as many of the fuckers as I could before they took me down. But I could almost hear what Daniel's reaction would be.

_And what good would that do your team exactly? And how on Earth will Atlantis know what happened without you telling them?_

I increased my pace, ignoring the cramping muscles. If I was going to make it, I would have to be pretty damn fast and get as much out of their range as possible by the time I reached the meadow the gate was on. It was on moments like this that I was eternally grateful to Jack and his agonizing exercises at five in the morning. I was still pretty out of shape though. Jack would kick my ass If he saw me.

I could see the meadow through the trees and kicked into next gear. I knew I had almost no chance of making it, what with having to dial up the gate but...

"Go faster Jackson! I'll cover you!" At this I almost tripped. What the _fuck_?! I chanced a look to my left and indeed saw the one and only major Evan Lorne running in the direction of the meadow a couple of meters from me.

"How the _fuck _did you get here? I thought they got you!" Or that's what I _wanted _to say. What came out was a series of pants and gasps. Lorne probably understood them because he shot me a sheepish look.

"Wrecked my radio." I swore quietly at the explanation. So they never got Lorne. He just _fucking wrecked his radio_. Apparently, he heard about the "kick their asses into next week" line and decided to turn up first.

We reached the meadow and Lorne jumped behind a large rock, his P-90 at the ready. I ran for the DHD and just as I reached it, I heard the well known rhythm of the gun. I could feel a couple of stunner blasts whizzing by, but from what I could tell without turning my back on the DHD, most wraith were aiming at Lorne and his rock. I wrecked my brain, trying to remember the address and fortunately, the seven years spent in SG-1 really paid off. The symbols popped into my mind one after another and finally, the seventh symbol locked and the gate activated, the event horizon creating its usual tidal wave before settling into a quite smooth puddle. I sent my code to the other side and turned to shout at Lorne to go ahead, but he beat me to the punch.

"Go ahead. I'll be right behind you." I growled and shot him a murderous glance. I knew that "right behind you". It was that "right behind you" that meant that the individual was going to be anywhere but right behind you. I opened my mouth to object but he shot me an annoyed looked and jumped from behind the rock.

I didn't wait to see him get hit. Instead, I ran for the gate and jumped through. Remember the "kick their asses into next week" line? Well Lorne just got the "Buy one, get one for free" deal.

* * *

><p>From what I could tell, doctor Weir wasn't exactly happy. What am I saying? She was <em>furious, <em>although it wasn't as apparent. I _did, _however, know her for a bit longer than the others in the room so it didn't escape my notice. The only good thing about this situation was that she wasn't exactly mad at me. But if a wraith would walk in at this instant... I shuddered. Poor wraith. This was an Elizabeth Weir that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemies. Except maybe Patrice Errington from my second year at uni. That bitch. As if her constant hitting on Rodney wasn't enough, but actually _stealing _some of my work? The whore was lucky she was still alive. And no, I _don't_ have a thing for Rodney. I just wouldn't let a slut like _Patrice Errington _anywhere near him. Talk about overprotective.

"Doctor Jackson, could you give us some details about the wraith that attacked you?"

"Hmm? Oh. Yes. Of course." As I proceeded with retelling the encounter with the wraith, I observed everyone around the room. Sheppard looked quite calm, but then again, he somehow managed to look calm in every situation. He was looking at me in a way that plainly suggested what he thought about scientists on teams, despite the fact he had Rodney on his. Ford was slightly leaning forward, probably impatient and wanting to go and kick some wraith ass. Teyla had an air of calm demeanor, probably used to such disappearances from her home planet. And Rodney... well.

"So you just left him there." Sheppard finally spoke up when I finished my speech. I smiled sweetly at him, my eyes shooting daggers. If he was a member of my former team, hell, even Lorne's team, he would know that at the sight of this smile, he should turn and run. Unfortunately for him, he was a member of neither.

"Okay then. Enlighten me. What would _you _have done?" I could see Rodney flinch at the sugar-coated sound of my voice, probably remembering all the various physical ailments that fell upon him after he heard it in the past. He cleared his throat and shot a desperate look at Sheppard. The major, however, still didn't get the hint.

"Well for one, I wouldn't have let my teammates get captured by the wraith." My smile widened and Rodney seemed to shrink in his chair.

"So you would have stayed and fought them."

"Damn right I would." The determination in his eyes was evident and the only thing stopping me from decking him right then and there was the knowledge that he was a rookie when it came to the gate.

"So let's hypothetically say I stayed and tried to take down the ten or so wraith. What would my chance at escaping be? Ten percent? Less? And what would Atlantis do then? We were scheduled to come back tomorrow. By then, who knows where _my team and I would be!_ What would your plan be then, oh wise one?! You wouldn't even know we were missing!" My voice was rising in volume but I couldn't control it.

"Calm down doctor Jackson." I turned to Weir to tell her where exactly she could stick her orders when the doors to the briefing room suddenly opened.

"You asked to see me doctor Weir?" All the fight went out of me as a certain Scottish doctor entered and I sat down. Seriously. This infatuation has to end or it's going to completely destroy my image. Ya know. M' street cred.

"Yes. Doctor Beckett, how would you feel about an off world mission?" I opened my mouth in surprise and from the corner of my eye I could see him go white as snow. She couldn't _possibly _be suggesting... He was a _medical doctor _and from what I could tell, quite the pacifist. How the _hell _did she think he could go on a search and rescue was beyond me. Apparently, his thoughts were of a similar manner. As were those of most of the others in the room.

"Doctor Weir, with all due respect, are you _seriously _considering sending _Beckett _with us? No offence." Sheppard added in Carson's direction.

"None taken. Actually, I would agree with the major. I'm not cut out for this."

"_Actually,_" she leaned forward in her chair. "I wasn't asking." I had to suppress a grin, remembering Jack and how a lot of similar questions of his ended up in the same manner. _Someone_ has been taking notes.

This answer left the good doctor speechless and he stared at Weir, mouth wide agape. After a couple of moments, he seemed to gather enough wits to respond.

"But... I'm a _doctor._" How eloquent. But he _did _look quite adorable confused like... Oi! Where did _that _come from?

"And that's exactly why you'll be invaluable on this mission. There is a possibility, however small, that someone will get hurt. Also, I'm giving the authorization for the use of a jumper on this mission and it would be safer for both you and major Sheppard to go in case the major gets hurt and can't fly." Carson grew even paler, if that was even possible, probably not overly enjoying the prospect of anyone getting hurt. But doctor Weir didn't wait for his response. Instead she turned to Sheppard and the others.

"Get ready to leave in an hour." He nodded just as I cleared my throat.

"Not to be a pain in the ass, but what about me?" Sheppard sent me a reluctant look but Weir was already nodding.

"You too doctor Jackson." I smiled slightly and stood up with the others as she dismissed us.

"Jackson, could you wait a minute?" I turned around again to face him and raised my eyebrows. "Look, I'm sorry for being like that and you were right. You did make the right call." My eyebrow shot up even higher and I looked around warily, checking whether a clown was going to jump out of a hidden corner and point out none too politely that it was in fact the first of April. "It's just that I'm not exactly fond of..." He hesitated and I grinned.

"Nerds?" He grinned slightly.

"I had a different word in mind." My grin widened.

"Don't worry. You're not the first and you certainly won't be the last officer of the US military that feels that way. In fact, general O'Neill said exactly the same thing when I joined his team. You know, except for the apology..." This time it was him his raising his eyebrows.

"You were in the general's team?" I nodded, quite glad I made my point. And yes, I do like to boast. I turned to leave but he stopped me.

"There's one more thing." My expectant look met his determined one. "I'm the leader on this mission, which means..." I was already nodding my head.

"I know, I know. Obey my orders and stay out of my way." I sighed and quietly thanked my lucky stars that he didn't hear any of the stories told about me or my brother. Because if he had, I'm pretty sure he'd blackmail Weir to not let me step out of the city at all.

* * *

><p>"Jackson, Beckett, you two stay in the jumper." I honestly didn't know what I was expecting. Okay, I expected Sheppard to let me come along, which was stupid when I take our previous conversation into consideration. But still, leaving me in the jumper when <em>Rodney <em>was allowed to come along... And leaving me here with _Carson _of all people. I know it wasn't on purpose, but still... I didn't object however, knowing that in case I _accidentally _happened to follow the team, I was much more likely to get away with it if I didn't cause a scene now. Instead I nodded shortly and turned to Carson. He looked much more relieved at being left in the jumper and I was tempted to point out to him that things never went exactly well when a group split up.

"If we're not back in two hours, _dial Atlantis and call for backup." _I shot him a sweet smile and nodded and then, much more discreetly shot another glance at an already suspicious Rodney, this one letting him know what exactly would happen if he explained the sweet smile to Sheppard. I gathered he understood perfectly from his terrified expression and I watched him smugly depart with his team, leaving me there alone with Carson.

_Oh crap._

For a moment I was torn between running after them and hiding beneath the control panel. In the end I decided that neither was a good option, seeing as it would immediately alert the good doctor to a) the fact I felt extremely uncomfortable when left alone with him or b) my mental state which was often described as - how did Jack put it? - three fries short of a happy meal.

"So, ehm... How long do you know Rodney?" Okay. Maybe I wasn't the only one feeling uncomfortable here, because that had to be the worst conversation starter I have ever heard.

"We started dating in high school and got married three years ago." His expression was completely priceless and he stared at me for full thirty seconds until I couldn't hold it in anymore and burst out laughing. "Well what did you expect me to answer? I know for a fact that Rodney already told you how we met and I also know that you didn't exactly ask out of interest but just to start the conversation going." His expression turned into a sheepish one and I blushed slightly. Seriously, some people stutter, some people throw up but me? Noooooo! I had to be the person that, when confronted with an uncomfortable situation just cannot shut up. "Fuck. I didn't mean that..." Oh yeah, I also start swearing quite a bit. "I mean, I did. But I didn't. Not exactly, despite the fact I did, in fact mean it." And all in all create an impression of a complete and utter nutter. Hey, that rhymes!

"Let me try that again." I exhaled and smiled at him gratefully. "What is the most interesting story from your days in SGC?" My smile widened as I wrecked my brain.

"Well, there was that one time when Jack and I drank something that made us get more... ehm... _comfortable _with each other. And as fate would have it, just as things were getting interesting, Daniel comes in and sees me and the colonel - well, now general - in a quite compromising position. Fortunately we didn't get far, mainly because Daniel was seconds from taking a sledgehammer to Jack's head. Needless to say that Jack never again made a sister joke in front of Daniel again..." I stopped when I realized just what exactly was I telling Carson. Seriously. _Fainting_ would be better than this.

"So you and General O'Neill..." I snorted.

"_God _no. Never. Not in a million years. He's, what? Twenty years older than me? Also, if that truly happened, I would be practically signing his death warranty. Having _one _brother after him would be bad enough, but Daniel _and _Rodney? Jack wouldn't stand a chance." Carson looked a bit confused.

"They're _that _overprotective?" I nodded.

"You have no idea. In fact, Rodney spent the better part of his high school education chasing guys away from me. And not always only the ones that were hitting on me. There was this one time when a classmate asked me to help him with his homework and Rodney told him to shove it. And then he didn't even feel guilty when the guy failed his math test..." Looking at Carson, I realized that this wasn't probably the best way to get him to make a move... Wait. I'm not saying I _wanted _him to make a move, I'm just saying that if I _hypothetically _wanted to get him to make a move, this wasn't the best way to go about it. "They're not that bad though. They even tried to set me up from time to time." I fortunately managed to stop myself adding that the candidates were chosen based on their faults to make sure I would pick none of them. Sighing quietly, I took a quick glance at my watch. Time was moving way too slowly.

* * *

><p><em>Ten...<em>

_Nine..._

_Eight..._

_Seven..._

_Six..._

_Five..._

_Four..._

_Three..._

_Two..._

**_One..._**

"Okay. They've been gone for two hours." Carson frowned worriedly.

"So we should call Atlantis, right?" I smirked slightly.

"Whatever are you talking about Carson? I can distinctly remember the major saying that if he doesn't come back in two hours, we should go and look for him."

"But..."

"No buts Carson. Orders are orders. Come on." I stood up and opened the jumper, walking out, not bothering to check if he was following me. I already knew he would.

"Ehm, Emms?" I winced at the nickname and turned around.

"Yes Car?" He probably didn't even notice me using the slight alteration of his name because he was too busy using his brain as he proved moments later.

"You _do _realize that the major took the life detector?" I swore quietly under my breath but then my expression brightened again. And during the two hours of idle conversation Carson apparently picked up on a couple of things because at this moment, he looked completely terrified.

"Never mind that. I've got a better idea." His expression turned into a one of pure horror.

"I'm not sure if I want to hear it." I snorted and headed back into the jumper.

"Of course you do. You'll be a hero after this."

"_I'm_ not sure if you know the difference between a hero and a martyr." I ignored his remark as I grabbed him by his shoulders and pushed him in front of the control panel. At that moment my plan dawned on him and he immediately started shaking his head. "Not a chance. You remember what happened in Antarctica. I'm a doctor! Not a bloody pilot."

"Don't worry. I'll be here every step of the way."

"That's _exactly_ what I'm worried about."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

** So another one behind us. I do, however, have to warn you that it will take some time before Carson and Emms *flinching at the blow I would get for calling her that* get together. You people that have seen season two already know what I'm talking about (hint: What happens in Duet?). But this doesn't mean that she won't get together with anyone else. Any guesses? (Please let there be guesses. I'm really curious). Also, did anyone catch a reference to an SG-1 episode? Feel free to send a review (and don't feel free ****_not_**** to send one *wink*).**

** Yours eternally (or as long as I have nerves with this story),**

**NC**

**P.S.: All the characters I include are made up. Any similarities to a real person are purely coincidental. Isn't that right, Patrice?**


	4. Before the Storm

_Hey there everyone! So this is another chapter. Adore me._

"I think it's over there." Finally spotting a small mountain among the trees below, I pointed in that direction. Carson's face contorted with concentration as he willed the jumper to turn, his hands shaking on the control panel.

"Hey, could you bring up the life signs detector?" He shot me a confused look, his concentration wavering and the jumper giving a dangerous jerk. His panic was clear as the jumper continued shaking and I could swear I could actually hear him whimper. The panic, however, was soon replaced with determination as he closed his eyes and concentrated. The jumper stopped shaking .

"Okay. We'll talk about it when we land." Another dangerous jerk and more shaking as Carson turned to look at me.

"_I'm supposed to _land _this thing? _"

"Well we're not going to _jump _now, Are we." The shaking became more furious and I clung on to the seat I was in, cursing myself for not easing him into this. "Okay, calm down. You're doing great so far so don't break your streak." The shaking subsided slowly and I exhaled, nodding encouragingly. "It shouldn't be that hard. Just take us lower slowly. We'll cross the bridge when we come to it." Nodding his head, he closed his eyes. The jumper went into a dive.

_"Bring it up! Bring it up!_" He screamed (not a little girl scream, for which I had to give him credit) and watched as the ground got closer and closer. Grateful for the jumper's dampening, I hit him over the head and then took him by the shoulders, shaking them none too gently. That seemed to calm him down a bit (ironically) because moments later, we were flying in a straight line over the trees.

"Oh crap." I gasped out a laugh and patted him on the back.

"See, that wasn't that hard." He ignored my little jibe and altered our course in the direction of the small hill. I watched the ever-nearing landmark warily, a half of me impatient to get there, the other half afraid of what we'd find there. And there was my third half (yes, I have a third half) that was getting pumped up full of adrenaline, ever thirsty for action. I eyed Carson out of the corner of my eye. He seemed calm enough, but I still could notice the tiniest twitch in the corner of his right eye that betrayed his uneasiness. Would he be able to handle the action? Is he the type that hardens inside when in danger? Or will he break down? Somehow, even though my brain told me the last option was the most probable, my (dare I say it) heart hinted that he is the type that would die for a person he just met. I just hoped he would switch off _that _specific part of him during this rescue. It might awaken the part of me that jumps in front of bullets to save idiots that jump in front of bullets to save others.

I took a deep breath and put my hand on Carson's shoulder.

It was time to land.

* * *

><p>The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was the inside of a wraith holding cell.<p>

_Great. Just what I needed. This place. Again. _

Searching his brain for what he remembered last, the memory of him and the others walking through the forest swam before his eyes and suddenly, nothing. Sitting up and leaning against the closest wall, he noticed the others were awake as well. And not only them.

"Lorne?" The major nodded and smiled weakly, waving his hand half heartedly from the corner in which he and the rest of his team sat.

"Fancy seeing you here doc. When I sent Emily to get backup, I didn't mean 'get them captured too'. Where is she by the way?" Rodney opened his mouth to respond but Sheppard beat him to the point.

"I told her to stay in the jumper with Beckett. She's probably already dialed Atlantis and requested for reinforcements." Lorne and Rodney exchanged an amused glance.

"Oh reinforcements are coming alright. In fact, they should be here any minute now." Ford shot Lorne a glum look.

"That is if doctor Weir allows another team to come here. Which I think isn't very probable." Lorne smirked and shook his head.

"I agree." Teyla frowned slightly.

"Then I do not understand your good humor major. If no one is coming, doesn't it seem that our outlook is very bleak?" Rodney laughed and shook his head. Lorne's smirk intensified.

"I said reinforcements are coming. I didn't say anything about doctor Weir sending them." A flash of understanding appeared in Sheppard's eyes.

"No. She wouldn't. I _told her _to dial the gate and contact Atlantis!" Lorne shook his head again.

"You said it yourself. Or Ford did at least. Doctor Weir probably wouldn't send another team here and Emily knows that. The only thing that would be left for her to do would be to try to rescue us herself." The colonel shot the major a sharp look.

"I don't see how getting herself and Beckett captured will help us." Lorne's face suddenly turned serious and he looked at Rodney again, who had a similar expression and was staring intently at the ground.

"You know colonel, in all the time I've known her, the most important thing I've learned about her is: _Never _underestimate Emily Jackson."

After some time that seemed a couple of hours but was probably only couple of minutes, the sound of heavy footsteps echoed down the hall. Sheppard, who was striding up and down the cell turned to face the door while the others jumped up to stand next to him. Rodney let out a tiny whimper.

_Come on Emms. What's taking you so long?_

They all took a step back instinctively when the wraith with about ten guards appeared at the organic bars which slid open, leaving them completely exposed. The white-haired alien hissed slightly and signaled the guards. At his signal, all the masked beasts entered the cell and surrounded them, pointing their stunners at them. The leader wraith turned around and started to walk down the hall, the guards ushering the humans behind him.

After a countless number of twists and turns, they finally stood in a spacious hall, as dark and grimy as the rest of the ship but much more airy. In the middle of the hall with his back towards them stood another wraith, his hands behind his back with long sleeves covering them, reminding Rodney of aristocrats back from Earth. The wraith leader approached him and bowed down slightly. A curt nod was his answer and the other wraith turned around to face them.

The moment they he saw his face Rodney gasped. The person in front of him wasn't a wraith at all. He was human. Human face, human hands, human eyes. He calmly eyed them, unblinking and then smiled.

"I apologize for the inhospitality, but those were necessary precautions. You were intruders on our feeding grounds and we had to defend ourselves."

"Now listen..." Eriksen shot the man a furious look but Rodney interrupted him.

"What do you mean 'our' feeding grounds? Because unless I'm mistaken - which I rarely am - you are human." The man eyed the scientist and after a few moments of sizing him up, he unbuttoned his shirt.

"You will find, doctor, that there might be exceptions to your rule."

_Hello hello hello. Another short chapter, but this is just part I. I will try to update very soon. Maybe by the end of the week. We will see more depth to Emily in the next chapter... I would also like to thank StarsOfMystery for her constructive criticism and for kicking me into gear._

_Yours truly,_

_NC_


	5. Raindrops Are Falling

**So I updated the chapter. Now it should make perfect sense and all thanks to StarsOfMystery who agreed to be my new beta! If it wasn't for her *shudder*... let's just say that the story wouldn't be readable... So without further ado I present to you...**

"Steady... You can do it. Just imagine a feather." The jumper gave an unexpected jerk as Carson turned to look at me.

"A _feather_?" I grinned at him and shrugged slightly.

"Yeah. You know... landing feather lightly and all that." He shot me a hopeless look before turning to face the front again, mumbling something about uselessness and shutting up. If you ask me, he was too hard on himself. He was neither useless nor did he need to shut up. It was me doing most of the talking. "Just be careful." He nodded but I could feel how nervous he was. In fact I was hardly even stopping myself from whimpering from the tension. We were about ten feet above the ground and it was like watching the last five minutes of an HBO TV show season finale. You just know something will happen before the end but don't really want to know what. Except you do.

"Here goes." His murmur was so quiet I wasn't sure I heard it. Placing a hand on his shoulder, I attempted to steady my own frantic heart when suddenly...we were on the ground, safe and sound. We sat there for a moment, not daring to move. Then he smiled.  
>"I did it!" His whisper was drowned by my squealing. Too happy to be embarrassed by the sound I'd just made, I flung my arms around his neck, jumping to my feet with him and doing an uncomfortable dance. We landed! We were both alive and well! We didn't crash! We were hugging!<p>

I stopped my happy dance at that realization, but otherwise I didn't move. Carson, however, seemed not to agree with this and pulled back slightly. I exhaled, relieved that we didn't need to go through an awkward moment, but then the next five minutes started playing.

Carson was staring at me, his eyes dazed and a hazy smile on his face. I stared back, completely clueless to what I should expect, half of me not really wanting to find out. After a few short moments, his smile widened and he leaned in, placing a chaste, sweet kiss on my lips, pulling back immediately after, then leaving the jumper.

I stared after him, completely in shock, my brain unable to process what just happened.

_What the...  
><em>

* * *

><p>Carson and I now stood in front of the entrance to the compound. The two wraith guards that were stationed by it, and had been only moments from threatening us with their stunners, now lay dead by our feet. The door leading inside the compound quite honestly resembled a mouth and I certainly didn't feel like being swallowed.<p>

"Are you _sure_ you don't want to wait in the jumper?" I asked him for the umpteenth time, feeling slightly guilty for dragging him into this.

"Aye, I wouldn't let anyone walk into a hell-hole like that all by their lonesome. Besides, you might need me." I fidgeted uncomfortably and nodded.

"Okay. We need a plan though." I heard a relieved sigh escape from him.

"For a moment there, I thought you were just going to burst in, guns a-blazing." I chuckled dryly, thinking that that would be exactly what Jack would do.

"Well the problem is that a) I'm not that good a shot, b) _you're_ not that good a shot, c) we don't have enough ammo and d) I would guess there are a _lot_ of wraith inside that compound. We wouldn't stand a chance." Carson frowned and eyed the dead wraith in front of us.

"You seemed to take _these_ two down alright." I smiled wryly.

"Well, for one, there were _two_ of them. Secondly, we had the element of surprise. But you can bet on one thing. If we go in without a plan, we aren't coming out. So what I propose: when we get in, I find the closest control panel and find the quickest way to wherever Lorne, Rodney and the rest are. Then I find a way to cause some damage. I'll show you what to push and when, and then I'll go find everyone while you divert the wraith. Then we get out, run like hell until we get back to the jumper, and then Atlantis. What do you say?" I felt good about the plan. It was a good plan. It had very high probability of success. About 25%. I mean seriously, what more could a girl want? Carson, however, didn't seem so enthusiastic.

"I can see a couple of holes in your plan. I don't feel good about them." I sighed quietly and turned to him.

"Listen. I get it. You're a doctor and not cut out for this. But right now, this is the best it can get. There isn't a better plan. Or if there is, I can't think of it. If you can, please tell me, otherwise please, just help me out with this." I held his look until he slowly nodded his head, still not looking entirely convinced. We turned back to the entrance and with a deep breath I walked in, hearing Carson only a couple of steps behind me.

The inside was dark, damp, and cold. Not exactly my kind of place seeing as I preferred hot, sunny, holiday destinations. The corridor in front of us was a typical corridor of a wraith compound. Weird, squishy, smelly, and organic. Seriously, I admire the wraith in the scientific area and everything, but this was way too disgusting for me. Dismissing these thoughts for now, seeing as it wasn't the time or the place, I led the good doctor through the hallways, searching for a panel and hoping against hope that we wouldn't bump into any wraith. So far my wish was being fulfilled.

Which was rather strange now that I thought about it.

"Carson...?" I whispered over my shoulder, not really wanting to voice my thoughts out loud only to have my fears confirmed.

"What is it?" His voice was nervous and at that moment I knew he was thinking the same thing.

"Don't you think it's awfully... quiet?"

"Isn't that _good_?" His voice was strained and it was clear from that that he himself didn't believe what he was saying. I turned around nervously to look at him.

"Not necessarily." His eyes were wide and it was obvious that he would rather be anywhere but here. I couldn't blame him. There were countless places I would rather be than here but also a countless other places filled with all sorts of horrors to which this one paled in comparison. I shook my head warily, quickly abandoning that train of thought. Once again not the time, not the place.

A few short minutes later I finally spotted it in all its gooey glory. Rushing forward to the control panel with Carson only a couple short paces behind me, I tried to recall anything and everything I knew about the wraith. Touching a couple of the controls tentatively, I could feel Carson shift uneasily next to me.

"Are you _sure_ you know what you're doing?" A shot him a sheepish glance, still prodding the device.

"Do you want me to make you feel better or do you want the truth?" He sighed and shot a weary look down the hallway we came from.

"I guess that answers my question then." Ignoring his remark, I gave a smug little chuckle as I found what I was looking for. The compound's schematics were in front of me and before Carson noticed my lack of movement, I was already halfway done memorizing it. He stepped a bit closer, looking over my shoulder. I shuddered slightly as I felt his soft breath on my neck and scolded myself immediately. I couldn't get carried away with this infatuation. It was good fun as long as it was platonic, but the moment my body started to react it had to be taken seriously. And when I start to react in situations like this, when we were on a rescue in a _wraith compound..._ I couldn't allow this. Not after...

"So this is it?" I nodded, grateful he had ripped me from my gloomy thoughts.

"Yes it is. The only problem is that we don't know where they're being held. We would need a life-signs detector for that. And seeing as you can't be in two places at once..." He nodded in understanding and I sighed, a bit disappointed. "So it looks like I will have to go room to room. I'll radio you when I need that distraction." He nodded and I turned my head to observe his reaction, meeting his eyes in the process. Something churned within me and suddenly I felt extremely guilty for dragging him into this. He was a doctor. A healer. And the world needed healers. I would hate myself if it was me that corrupted him. I could never do that. My wind immediately jumped back to what happened in the jumper. Whatever _that_ was, he didn't take advantage. He was kind, funny and didn't judge me... too much. Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe I could do this...

I stepped back quickly, cursing myself. I could not do this. Not now. Emotions complicated things. They got people killed. And if something bad happened to any of my friends... I turned my back on Carson, concentrating on the panel with all my might, mentally urging him to take a step back. After a couple of moments of hesitation, he seemed to get the hint and backed off a couple of steps, allowing me to breathe. Trying very hard to concentrate on finding a good distraction, I fought against another surge of guilt. This was as much for his own good as it was for mine.

"Here it is." My voice resembled a croak more than anything and I cleared my throat to get rid of the tightness there. I took a step sideways, allowing Carson to take a closer look. I was rewarded with a blank stare.

"What am I to do with this? This makes about as much sense to me as astrology." Exhaling a hidden sigh of relief, I thanked whatever deity there might be that he decided to pretend that my little but obvious walk down memory lane didn't happen. I pointed at a button.

"Press this when you get my signal. The moment you do_, turn around and run to the jumper_. And not in the way that_ I _would. The fact is we won't have the time to rescue you too without risk. We would, don't get me wrong, but we wouldn't have much time left to escape." He nodded nervously.

"I assure you, I don't intend to be a hero." I smiled slightly and he smiled back. Maybe we'll be fine after all.

I turned around to leave but then hesitated.

"Carson...?" He turned around to face me, an expectant expression on his face.

"Aye?" I swallowed when my eyes met his and I did my utmost not to stare too hard. Not to let myself do something stupid. After a couple of seconds I sighed and looked away, staring at my feet.

"If it comes to it, don't you hesitate to use that gun." and without waiting for a response I headed away from him down the hallway.

* * *

><p>Carson watched her chestnut brown hair disappear around the corner as he stood there, frozen in place. He fingered the gun he took from the jumper uncertainly, the last couple of minutes playing in his head on repeat. He remembered the closeness, her emerald eyes boring into his, trying to tell him something although he had no idea what. It was as if she was arguing with him in a different language and he couldn't respond. Then he remembered her broken look and she took a step back.<p>

_What the..._

* * *

><p>Rodney watched in resignation as they took everyone away one by one, only to return them to the cell a couple moments later. He was the first to go through the process and it was a miracle that he managed to keep his mouth shut. Before he went through their particular type of torture, he knew it would be bad. That he will probably break and betray his friends. He was wrong. Or at least partially. It had been much worse than he expected, even though it was only psychological torture. He didn't break, to his own surprise. Whether he betrayed his friends or not was another matter entirely. The things he saw... He fought hard against remembering but a few flashes appeared in front of his eyes nonetheless.<p>

_He stood there, Emms by his side. They were in a wide field filled with flowers and soft grass, the sun shining down on them. They were standing there with Sheppard only a few steps away. And Sheppard was currently aiming a gun at his chest. He stared at Sheppard, confused. He could feel the soft wind and Emily's hand in his. They were holding onto each other for comfort. To reassure the other that they wouldn't abandon a friend. _

_Sheppard smiled and loaded the gun. Rodney's breath grew quicker as he watched the man he greatly respected, (even though he had never shown it), laugh lightly, the noise filling his ears. Watching with morbid fascination, the major's finger on the trigger tighten. He felt Emily's hand squeeze his own, and in a single moment everything changed. _

_Everything seemed to slow down as he grabbed his childhood friend by her arm and flung her in front of him, just as the gun went off. She collapsed onto him, her chest slowly becoming redder with each beat of her heart__**. **__Sheppard was gone. She looked into his eyes and touched his face lightly. He sank to his knees._

"_I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to..." She pressed a finger to his lips._

"_Shush... It's okay Rodney." Gratitude spread through him as he watched the life drain from her, the one girl he would do anything for. "It's okay. I always knew you were a coward." She exhaled for the last time and disappeared, leaving him there, alone in the dark._

He could feel something wet on his face and he raised his hand to touch it, only to realize that it was his tears. Wiping them away, he shook his head. It was only a drug-induced hallucination. He wouldn't do that. Not to Emms, not ever.

_Are you sure about that though? What if what you saw really happened?_

He ignored the voice, too weak to argue. Watching the cell door with empty eyes, he desperately tried to ignore the others there with him. They all went through the same torture he did. None of them said it, but it was clear just from the way they remained quiet from the moment they reentered the cell. And he was grateful that they did. He couldn't stomach having to form his thoughts into words. The fact was that the astrophysicist couldn't understand how in the world he had managed not to tell the wraith anything about Atlantis. He was sure that if they had pushed just a tiny bit more he would have broken. But they didn't, and he didn't either.

Sheppard was the last to be taken away, and frankly, Rodney was quite okay with. He didn't want Sheppard to suffer, not really, but the hallucination kept on replaying in his head over and over and over again. He felt very uncomfortable around the major after his session and the fact that he could no longer see the cause of his uneasiness made him relax ever so slightly. Which, in turn, made him feel even more guilty. So he resigned himself to watching the cell door, waiting for something to happen.

After a while Rodney experienced a déjà vu as the wraith and his guards appeared again and ushered them out. This time there were no wary glances. No one looked up from the floor as they walked through the hallways. Once again they were led into the same room as before and once again they were faced with _him_.

"Are you guys alright?" Rodney couldn't bring himself to look at Sheppard. He didn't feel any relief at all. He didn't feel anything.

"It's good to see you major. Things were getting quite depressing." It was Lorne that spoke up and everyone else gave agreeing grunts. Rodney stayed silent.

"Yeah. I know what you mean. And I think it's pretty safe to say that Dr. Heightmeyer will have quite a few new patients when we get back." The sound of shuffling feet filled the next couple of seconds. Then Simmons broke the silence.

"What do you think they'll do to us sir?" Rodney chanced a look at the speaking soldier. He had an uncommonly hard expression on his face, his eyes looking ages older than they had the last time Rodney saw them.

He could hear Sheppard breathing in front of him but he didn't dare to look at him. Instead, he directed his gaze at Teyla and Ford, both of whom were staring blankly in front of them, probably still caught up in the horrors they saw and even though the look did nothing to calm Rodney down, it was still better than looking at Sheppard. In fact he was quite happythat the major hadn't noticed that yet, which if he had would result in him asking Rodney questions and Rodney being unable to answer directly. God only knew how he would react when he'd see Emms again. He shuddered, suddenly unsure if he wanted to see her again. He was sure at the very least that he wouldn't be able to face her.

"We can't really be sure. All we can do is wait." Sheppard responded. Silence spread through the crowd again, interrupted only by their breathing. the wraith around them were stoic, completely unmoving, their leader having left just minutes ago. They stood there in the pits of depression in complete silence.

"Hey, I know a joke." Everyone stayed silent as Lorne eyed them one by one. "A Marine walked into a bar... An Army soldier saw it and ducked, just in time." Rodney frowned slightly, not getting the joke as he heard Ford, Eriksen and Simmons chuckle. Sheppard stayed silent.

"Okay, but don't say I didn't try." The mumble was almost unintelligible but it managed to lift the mood a little. Rodney lifted his eyes to look at the major, still deciding to ignore Sheppard but feeling slightly better.

"It has been decided." The rasp broke through the slightly improved mood as the wraith leader approached them, a vicious sneer etched on his face. "You all were useless and, you are to be executed immediately." The wraith positioned around them lifted up guns that were quite similar to their stunners but had a much more malicious air to them. All at once, as if it had been practiced over and over again on countless different prisoners, they all pointed the guns at the group. Rodney's heart sped up as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. Whatever happened, he was determined not to die a coward.

"Fire at my command." The wraith then turned to stare at them with evil eyes. "I want them to see it coming." He took a step back.

"One... Two..."

BANG

An explosion shook the ground beneath them and the wraith hissed, gesturing to the others to follow him. Three wraith stayed behind, their guns still aimed at the team, their backs to the hallway, unmoving. Rodney's brain was working at 203.5%, trying to figure out what was going on. So far the only things he could come up with were an experiment gone awry, another group of wraith finding the compound and attacking it or...

Three gunshots were heard and their wraith guards crumpled to the ground. Everyone flinched and Rodney yelped as they intently watched the hallway in front of them. When he saw who was standing there, he gave out a gasp.

"It's you. But..." He pointed at her, eyes wide in awe.

"I thought I already told you countless of times," Emily took a couple more steps forward, her eyes completely cold, and aiming her gun at the wraith she just shot down, she shot them an abhorring look. "_No one_ threatens my people." She then looked up, smiling at Rodney. And suddenly he knew that whatever happened, _they_ would _always_ be just fine.

* * *

><p>I watched the group of my friends in front of me and my stomach gave a lurch. They seemed broken. Hurt. Suddenly getting an urge to take down the son of a bitch that got them into this state, I looked around, searching for a hint of where he might be. Hearing a little noise from the crowd of people, I turned to face them with raised eyebrows. Sheppard was the first to speak.<p>

"Thanks for saving us." My eyebrow shot up even higher as I nodded slightly and offered a grin. I was met with Lorne's megawatt smile.

"No offence or anything, but how the _hell_ did you manage to pull that off?" I rolled my eyes and approached them, hiding my gun away.

"You know _Evan_, It's always so nice to see how much faith you have in me." I hugged him and then Rodney. Lorne seemed alright enough, but Rodney stiffened when I approached, which only made me curse the wraith fucker responsible for this even more. Stepping back I grinned again, gesturing them towards the hallway.

"I can't take all the credit though." My remark was met with raised eyebrows and I laughed. "I did have _Carson_ after all."

"You did? And what did the genius do?" To say I was happy to hear my Rodney's sardonic voice again would be the understatement of the millennium, even more so than the classic 'Houston, we have a problem'. I laughed again and shook my head.

"You heard the explosion, didn't you? But I _do_ reckon we should speed up if we want to get out of here. What do you say, _major_?" Instead of answering me, Sheppard just picked up the pace and i followed his lead, shrugging.  
>"I suppose you would like me to lead the way, seeing as I have the schematics memorized?" Sheppard looked over his shoulder, a bit sheepish.<p>

"It's just... this damned place... it gets into your brain." I nodded gloomily and took the lead again.

"Yeah. I get it."

As we ran, I shot all of them careful glances. Every single one seemed... as if there was only half of them. Rodney was staring at the ground, Simmons' shoulders were slumped making him seem unnaturally short, Eriksen had glassy eyes, Lorne's smile was too strained to be real, Teyla's eyes shouted murder and Fordhad an empty look on his face. Only Sheppard seemed hardened which could of course meant only one thing: He got it the worse than all of them, whatever it was. At that moment there wasn't a person I ever hated more than the wraith that did this, with one exception. And that exception did not live to tell the tale. After deciding that the bastard was going to pay, be it today, tomorrow or in three years, I sighed and led everyone out into the daylight.

* * *

><p>"What the <em>bloody hell<em> took you so long?" To be completely honest, to see the good doctor so riled up amused me much more than it frightened me. He was positively fuming. I grinned at him as I ushered everyone in, feeling much better now that they were actually smiling.

When we got out of the compound, the fresh air seemed to work wonders on everyone. By the end of the run even the exhausted Rodney laughed. When we finally got to the jumper, I was happy to find that Carson had not taken my example and had indeed went straight to the jumper. And right now he was fuming because I didn't radio him when I gotten to the team. Seriously. If he suddenly transformed into a woman, he would make the most annoying worrying wife that ever existed.

"For the fifteenth time, I am sorry Carson. But I was too busy taking out the three wraith that were guarding them to radio you. And then we were running for our lives." He hesitated, eyeing me mistrustfully.

"You said you weren't that good a shot." I sighed.

"I lied. Plus, they _did_ have their backs on me." He frowned and grumbled something about ungratefulness and not being cut out for this. Laughing, I nodded at Sheppard with a grin.

"I suppose the good doctor would like it very much if you were to replace him at the wheel major." He looked at me confused, but when he noticed me eyeing the jumper's console, he shook his head.

"I don't think that would be a good idea. At least not for a couple more days." I nodded, understanding, and berating myself mentally for not thinking about his mental state before I had asked him. Shooting an apologetic look at Carson, I gestured for him to take the seat and slumped into the chair next to him.

"Okay then, nice and easy." He grinned slightly at me and winked.

"Don't worry. It's _landing_ that's the hard part." Carson mocked. I rolled my eyes and, deciding to ignore his response, I turned to look at the others. I needed to somehow ease them into the conversation.

"So, now that we're in air and on our way to Atlantis, would you mind telling me what the hell happened back there?" _Wow. What a way to ease into it._ Suddenly, the jumper was filled with an uncomfortable silence and shuffling of feet. Staring them down determinedly one by one, my eyes finally met Sheppard's. He held my gaze and then nodded.

"We were taken hostage and put into Lorne's cell. We were then all taken to see the wraith leader." Another silence filled the jumper. No one seemed to want to talk about the leader, whoever he might be, but I was _very_ interested in the bastard. After all, without knowing who he was and what he looked like, how the fuck was I supposed to hunt him down and kill him? After a couple more minutes of silence I couldn't stand it any longer.

"And..." Sheppard gave a little jerk and found my eyes again.

"He looked human. Completely. Except..."

"Except he wasn't." Lorne interrupted the new silence that threatened to break out. "He was a wraith alright."

"It seems the wraith have managed to create a device that makes them appear human." Teyla spoke. Her eyes were once again calm and determined but her words still made me shudder.

"Well fuck." Wow. How eloquent.

"Rodney? Did you happen to notice what the device looked like?" He nodded slightly.

"It resembled the shield device we found on Atlantis. It appears that this particular wraith was able to overcome his hatred of all things ancient and managed to modify one of their devices for his own purposes." I swore again. This was not good. It meant that wherever we encountered humans, there was always a risk that one of them was a wraith in disguise. It would affect our trading with other planets immensely... and then there was the question of security. I shook my head. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

"Okay. Obviously doctor Weir will have to be informed about this immediately. This still doesn't explain though why in the _world_ you guys are so depressed. What did the fuckers do to you?" More uncomfortable leg shuffling. I looked at Sheppard and Rodney for an explanation but got none. In the end it was Lorne that spoke up again.

"Let's just say that saying we were mind-fucked would be an understatement." I took a deep breath and nodded. At least it didn't seem _that_ serious. They were talking and smiling. Only when the compound was mentioned did they clam up.

I turned to face the front again, just in time to see the clearing on which where the gate soon appeared.

"_Please_ tell me I don't have to fly through that." I giggled at Carson's words and his completely dejected expression and then my hand snapped to my mouth. I met Rodney's eyes, my shock mirrored in them. I haven't giggled for a very long time. He raised his eyebrows and I shook my head. No. It wasn't going to happen again. I was going to ensure that.

Turning back to look at the gate, I exhaled in relief.

"Ladies and gentlemen, get ready to dial..."

**I would also like to thank you all who reviewed, favorited and followed. You are what keeps me going... NC**


	6. Lightning Strikes

**And here comes another chapter. Hope you enjoy it. Once again my eternal gratitude goes to StarsOfMystery for filtering all the rubbish I put in and making sure I don't make a _complete _idiot of myself.**

"They can do _what_?!" In a span of just a few short hours, I was faced with the wrath of doctor Elizabeth Weir for the second time. My luck never seems to run out. Seriously! Every time. We were all in the conference room, doctor Weir striding up and down, her usual calm demeanor nonexistent as she frantically searched the faces of each one of us, probably hoping to catch someone lying. I couldn't blame her. The fact was that I too was hoping that this was some sort of elaborate joke and that someone would start laughing any minute now. I also knew though that that won't happen. After all, she didn't see them on that planet. I did. And trust me, those faces were anything but joking.

"They can turn into humans." My reply, spoken in a soothing voice did nothing to calm her down. If anything, it seemed to make her even more angry. She turned to Carson.

"Is that even possible?" Fidgeting uncomfortably, he looked up.

"I'm not sure. It _is_ true that there is evidence that the wraith evolved from humans and those life-sucking bugs that major Sheppard and his team encountered." I shot a quick look at the major but he didn't show any signs of unease at the memory. Some people are just lucky that way. "But to actually revert a wraith into a human... I would say it is impossible. Or at least very improbable." Frowning, I opened my mouth to say something but Rodney beat me to it.

"Yes, well this doesn't mean they actually have to _become_ human." I was already nodding but everyone else seemed to be completely clueless.

"Care to elaborate on that, doctor?" Rodney raised his eyebrows, his _how-can-anyone-be-so-stupid_ expression on his face and was about to say something extremely insulting when I interrupted him to prevent him getting beaten up later.

"Well the _wraith_ don't have to change at all. Only our perception of them. The wraith are, after all, the masters of illusion. How hard do you think it would be for them to create a device that would make them appear human?" Doctor Weir nodded slowly and stopped pacing.

"So what you're saying is that we can still detect them on the life-signs detector?" Rodney and I exchanged a glance and he shook his head.

"Not necessarily. They could have developed some sort of a cloaking device that makes them human on our sensors." Carson shot Rodney a thoughtful look.

"I presume that if I took a blood sample, they wouldn't be able to mask that they're not human. After all, the device only affects our _perception_ of the wraith. Am I right?" I was already nodding, smiling slightly.

"Yeah. I think that would work." Elizabeth exhaled, covering her eyes with her hand.

"Well thank god for small blessings." She shot us all a wary look and then shook her head. "You all need to get cleared by doctor Heightmeyer and doctor Beckett before going on any other missions. Dismissed." She shot everyone that was a captive a warning look. I stayed silent, grateful that I was excluded from this necessity.

Everyone stood up and started to shuffle out of the room, mumbling quietly among themselves. I lagged behind slightly and gestured at Rodney to do the same. He seemed reluctant, but clearly understood from my expression that disobeying was not an option. I closed the door/wall of the conference room and turned to him.

"What did the bastard do to you?" He shot me a nervous glance and shrugged. I growled. "No McKay. You are not doing this. After all the years we've known each other you should know that there is no way you could lie to me. Aren't we good enough friends for you to tell me?" I would be lying if I said that I wasn't feeling guilty about the emotional blackmail, but the moment Rodney started giving off hints that he was lying to me, things were bad.

I pointed at a chair, my frown giving no room for complaints. He walked over at a sluggish pace and sat down, not looking directly at me. Putting another chair in front of him I sat down, the chair's backrest between us, my legs straddling the chair. This was my pep talk position. Rodney recognized it immediately and glared at me angrily.

"Don't give me that look McKay. You need this. So, tell me what happened." Rodney took a deep breath, apparently realizing he wasn't getting out of this one.

"When the wraith showed us what he could do, he sent us back to our cell. Then he took us, one by one and showed us... things." My eyes narrowed at his indirect response.

"What things?" He shuffled uncomfortably in his seat, staring at his feet.

"Childhood memories?" he muttered uncertainly. I gave him a dry laugh and shook my head.

"You wouldn't be saying it like you were asking me if that was really what happened. Don't underestimate my intelligence." He swallowed and redirected his stare at his hands that were folded in his lap. For a moment he just sat there and then bowed his head. He wasn't going to talk. I sighed, suddenly feeling bad for pushing him.

"I'm sorry Rodney. I shouldn't be trying to pry this out of you. It's just..." I searched for the right words desperately, knowing that when Rodney McKay looked this resigned and didn't complain, things were really _really_ bad. "You're my best friend Rodney." My voice grew soft and I looked down to stare at my feet, not really comfortable with where my little monologue was headed. I had to say it though. "You helped me through a really rough patch and... I just wanted to help you too." I sighed again and stood up, intent on sleeping for the next week. However, as I made my way to the exit, Rodney spoke up.

"It was you." I stopped in my tracks and took a deep breath before I turned around. Rodney was looking at me now, his eyes desperate. It was clear that this was extremely hard for him. I walked back over to the chair and sat down.

"What do you mean?" I could see panic spread across his face and I reached out my hand. He snapped his own back, immediately looking guilty. I retracted my hand and tried to calm myself down. "Did I hurt you?" Fortunately my voice didn't shake at all, which was more than I could say for my insides. I was in a rage. If that psycho wraith did anything that would damage our friendship, I would have his hide for a pelt. Rodney shook his head guiltily.

"You didn't." I waited as he seemed to gather his thoughts. "We were in a meadow together, but Sheppard was there too. He was aiming a gun at me and was about to shoot. I..." I started to understand what he was getting at. Looks like a certain wraith read 1984. Rodney dropped his head dejectedly. "I pushed you in front of me to save myself." I could feel that it wasn't the entire story. He wasn't telling me something.

"And?"

"And you called me a coward." Even though I knew it was a dumb move, I couldn't help it. I chuckled lightly and touched Rodney's hand. He flinched and I gave an exasperated growl.

"Rodney..." He ignored my voice. I growled again, not about to let him get away with it.

"Rodney McKay, look at me or so help me, I will give Sheppard Jeannie's phone number." I realized only after I said it how bad it sounded now that Rodney had told me what he saw Sheppard do, but at least it got him to look at me. After a very short sheepish smile I scowled at him. "Rodney McKay, you are_ anything but_ a coward. Sure you're a hypochondriac, you run away from gunfire, and you are afraid of lemons..." He opened his mouth to protest but I stopped him. "_But_ you stand up for your friends. You would do anything for someone you really cared about. Look, just the fact that you got so affected by this means that you are more terrified of doing something like that than of being shot at, and that is saying something." Grinning brightly at the completely bewildered scientist in front of me, I patted him on the shoulder.

"So are we on for dinner tonight?" He rolled his eyes, the arrogant smirk I loved so much back.

"Oh please. Like we _wouldn't_ have dinner together." I chuckled and stood up.

"Well my work here is done. Give my regards to Kate, will you? I do miss her." And without waiting for a response, I turned to leave the conference room. Yep, I was going to sleep for at least a week.

* * *

><p>Or so I thought. When I arrived in the corridor my room was in, I had a visitor waiting for me in front of my door.<p>

"Carson. To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?" He stood up from where he was leaning against the door and shot me an uncertain look.

"I think we need to talk." I blinked a couple of times and took a deep breath to calm down. Carson was just standing there, completely oblivious to the fact that alarm bells were ringing in my brain. Didn't he know not to use cliches? That they only mess things up? I took an uncertain step in his direction and then hesitated. The sooner this was over, the sooner I could get some sleep.

"Well then, let's talk." I opened my room and invited him in, pointing at a chair for him to sit in. After he did, I sat down opposite to him in my pep talk position, this time more for my benefit than his. We sat there in silence for a couple of moments, him probably expecting me to say something, me trying to sort out my thoughts to do so. Then he spoke up, impatience evident in his voice.

"How was your day?" I snorted, trying really hard not to laugh in his face. Of course the first thing that entered my mind was the little jumper episode... the one just after Sheppard and co. left, but at that time, I embarrassed myself much more than he did. I was not about to repeat that mistake.

"We came back an hour ago." My voice sounded colder than I had intended it to and it was clear that Carson had noticed because he gave me a sheepish look.

"Aye, that we did. How was your hour?" At this I actually laughed. Seriously? Even I wasn't this hopeless when nervous.

"You really are shit at this small talk thing, aren't you." _And here comes the swearing_. The next look he shot me was filled with resentment which immediately made me feel guilty. "So do you want to talk? I mean _talk_?" He immediately appeared more determined, straightening up in his chair, suddenly all business.

"Aye. I would. For starters, about what happened in the jumper...?" I counted down from ten to zero, just to make sure I wouldn't say anything stupid.

"You'll have to be a bit more specific Carson." And look how well _that_ worked. What else could he be talking about but the kiss? I was insulting his intelligence, but I had to play for time so I could figure out what to say next.

"You know what I'm talking about." His voice was calm but I could tell he was nervous. My playing for time didn't work that well, seeing as I was coming up blank and the guilt was increasing at an ever more rapid pace. It could have been easy to explain why I stepped away. But not for me. And I was not about to go and send him to ask Rodney. In fact, I didn't really want him to find out, even though then he might understand better. He would also have that look that most other people had when they knew and spoke to me. That was partially why I left SG-1. Yeah... I was a complete mess and now it was affecting my relationships, even here. But there wasn't really anything I could do about it. At least not in the near future. Straightening up, I looked Carson in the eye.

"Look, Carson... I'm really sorry. I didn't want to give you any false impressions. I see you as a friend and that probably won't change any time soon." I was lying through my teeth and I knew it. In fact it was because I _didn't_ see him just as a friend that I had to lie. Now he just had to get it into his head. The doctor seemed to hesitate for a minute.

"Well good. Because I wouldn't want you to get the wrong idea either." My eyebrow shot up and I fought with all my might against my impulse to give him a witty retort. "It was just an accident. I lost my balance and..." I couldn't stop myself anymore. I just had to say something.

"You _lost your balance_? Oh come on! You _kissed_..."

BANG

The two of us froze, staring at each other. The explosion was only heard, and we couldn't feel anything shaking, which meant that it was far from us. I reached for my radio and turned it on.

"Can someone tell us what happened?!" The static that answered me made me jump up and rush to the door, Carson in tow. Running through the corridors, I begged anything that was listening for a miracle. That no one died. That everything was fine. That it was just an accident.

"_...Jack...Kay...ckett...med...eam..rol...room...ex plo...port...NOW!_"I froze when my radio came to life but after I heard the message, I sped up immediately, heading to the control room. I heard too many static filled emergency radio transmissions not to understand this one. And it didn't look good. Just the fact that they wanted us in the control room...

"What was that? What did they say?" Carson caught up with me and gasped out his question. I remembered another part of the transmission and shot him a look.

"Go get a medical team or whatever you do in cases like this and then go to the control room!" His face immediately filled with panic as he turned on his headset.

"Medical team to the control room, STAT!" I ran a bit faster, expecting him to stop and wait for his team but he kept up.

"Aren't you going to wait for them?" He shook his head.

"I'd... more good... control room." Smiling slightly at his shortness of breath, I nodded and slowed down a tiny bit. We were on our way.

* * *

><p>When we arrived in the gate room, the sight we were met with was fit for a horror movie. At least if you were a direct part of it. The walls were blackened by fire that was still burning in some places, mostly surrounded by Athosians armed with buckets of water. There were people on the floor, some of them pretty bloodied up. Carson immediately rushed over to one of them and began treating him, leaving me to sprint up the stairs into the control room. The place was wrecked. Or at least it looked like it. Some of the controls were blown to pieces and I could see Rodney and Zelenka running around, trying to fix what they could.<p>

"Tell me what to do!" Rodney's head snapped up and relief appeared on his tired face. He then pointed at one of the panels and went back to work. I hastened over and after a brief look through all the damage that was done, I tried to bring the machine back to life.

I wasn't sure how long we've been working, but our attempts were interrupted by doctor Weir entering the control room and demanding to know how we were doing.

"It's not as bad as I thought it would be. Most of the completely destroyed controls were the ones that we had no idea how to use so we shouldn't miss them too much." I nodded but Zelenka didn't seem to agree completely.

"It's true. What worries me though is our life support. It's wrecked and will take much longer to fix. I'm no explosives expert, but I'd say that this was where the bomb went off. I'd say it was taped to this console." Doctor Weir frowned.

"Why would he want to destroy our life support? We aren't even using it." I shot her a confused look.

"Who is 'he'?" Weir and Rodney exchanged a look that I didn't like one bit. "Well?" Elizabeth sighed and shook her head.

"It was major Lorne that set off that bomb." I opened my mouth but nothing came out of it. _Evan_... No. He would never do that. _Ever_. Not if it could harm someone he cared about. He wouldn't! That just wasn't him...

"How do you know it was him?" I still had hope if no one saw him. Then it could be just a big misunderstanding...

"Because I saw him." I turned around to face Sheppard, who just entered the control room.

"But..." He was already raising his hand in defense.

"Look, I don't like it just as much as you. But the fact is I saw major Lorne put something on that panel and then run. I tried to catch up to him, but then I heard the explosion so I turned back. I'm sorry, but that's what I saw." I hung my head in defeat. So it was true. Evan Lorne, whom I've known for the past seven years has done the unthinkable. He risked everyone's life... and for what? I frowned, slightly.

"But why would Lorne do that? He's not the type of person who would do something like that simply because he didn't _like_ something... There has to be a reason." I desperately searched my brain for any reasons he might have had, but nothing came to mind. The other remained silent as well.

"Oh _shit_!" Rodney gave a little jump and then rushed over to the railing. "Doctor Beckett! Did major Lorne get that checkup he was supposed to?!" From my position I could see Carson raising his head.

"I haven't done a check up on any of you yet!" I felt a slight guilty twinge because I knew that was partially my fault, but I also started to realize where Rodney was heading with this.

"You're saying..." He was already nodding and trying to re-calibrate the life-signs detector.

"...that Lorne was replaced, yes. We didn't see the wraith after we all went through the little sessions. And the one that went after Lorne was..." He turned to Sheppard expectantly. The major was frowning and nodding.

"You're right. I was tortured by the chief of the guard. The main wraith wasn't there." Rodney snapped his fingers. Zelenka was frowning slightly, the wheels spinning in his head were practically visible.

"So major Lorne was replaced by a wraith. But why would a wraith want to damage our life support? It's not like we need it." Suddenly everything snapped into place and I swore. This time it was me rushing over to the railing, shouting at Carson.

"Carson! Did major Lorne get the gene therapy?" He looked up completely bewildered.

"Aye, he did."

"_Fuck_!" I turned to face the others, meeting their confused expressions. "When in the history of our expedition have we ever needed life support?" Realization was dawning on their faces, accompanied by a look of horror.

"Well that's impossible. He _doesn't_ have the gene." The others looked even more confused but I was already nodding, cursing my stupidity.

"Right. You're right. Stupid me. Could he do it from a terminal or something?" Rodney rushed over to the city map and pointed at two rooms on it.

"He could do it from here and here, as well as from the control room." I nodded and turned to Elizabeth and Sheppard expectantly. They exchanged a tense look but then Elizabeth nodded and Sheppard stepped to the railing.

"Alright everybody, listen up!" Everyone downstairs grew quiet and looked up at him expectantly. "A wraith got inside Atlantis looking like major Lorne and it intends to sink the city!" Alarmed murmurs erupted below but Sheppard quieted them down. "I know that it is a shock but right now every minute counts. Beckett, take care of everyone injured and evacuate the control room. The wraith might head here if we prevent it from accessing other terminals." The medical team that just arrived started rushing around, already beginning the evacuation. Sheppard then turned to Elizabeth with an apologetic look. "I forgot my radio." She frowned at him disapprovingly but handed him one and he switched it on. "Team 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7, we have a wraith in the city looking like major Lorne. Team 3 and 4, go to the north part of the city. You will be joined by doctor Zelenka who will lead you to where he's headed. Team 5 and 6, go south-east. you'll be joined by doctor Jackson. Team 7, report to the control room. Use lethal force if necessary." Switching off the radio, he turned to face Rodney. "You'll stay with me Rodney. Emily, Radek, go where you're supposed to." I nodded and rushed down a couple of corridors looking for the teams, wondering how did things become this fucked up.

* * *

><p>He was running. Of course logically he knew he should give himself up, but Sheppard's voice was still ringing through his head.<p>

_Use lethal force if necessary._

This was anything but good. Lorne knew that there was a chance that some hot head would shoot him if he let himself get caught. He had to figure out what the hell was going on and he had to figure out soon. His life depended on it.

**Well I hoped you liked this chapter. Stay tuned in for more...**


	7. Thunder Rolls

**Hey There! First of all I would like to thank my amazing beta StarsOfMystery for... well... being awesome :). Also I would like to thank each and every one of you who reviewed, faved or followed this story or read it and liked it. Your support has been amazing and it is the only thing that keeps me going. (Well that, the fact that I want Emily to "experienceů what I have in store for her and the ridiculous amounts of coffee that is inhaled while I write)**

**Disclamer: Not mine. None of it! *wink***

* * *

><p>I ran down the corridors, listening intently for any signs of teams 5 and 6... or Lorne. However, no matter how hard I tried, I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact that Lorne was a wraith. Or rather that a wraith was pretending to be Lorne. I understood how. What I didn't understand was how I didn't notice it. I have known the man for the past seven years. He knew me at my darkest moments and still remained my friend. How in the world did I not notice that he was replaced by a wraith... something didn't add up. I could understand that wraith-Lorne would know Lorne's personal details, but there was still something... That joke! The joke Lorne said in the compound. I really doubted that during the interrogation the wraith asked Lorne to tell an old military joke. In fact, I wasn't sure wraith had jokes at all. Then again, the Jaffa had their jokes, albeit not really funny... but I was getting off track. The point was, there was no way a wraith could come up with a joke like that. But then why would Lorne have installed the bomb? Sheppard saw him so...<p>

I turned around a corner and suddenly, I stood face to face with Lorne himself. And he was aiming a wraith stunner at me.

_ Oh crap!_

* * *

><p>Rodney was trying hard. He really was. The problem was that the ancient machines suddenly decided to stop cooperating. He was attempting to reprogram the city's life signs detector to detect the specific frequency of the device the wraith was using, using the shield device they found as a reference. The only problem was that the shield device had been depleted since he had had it on and seeing as it didn't exactly have the frequency written <em>on<em> it. Plus the ancient database was proving extremely unhelpful. Rodney was practically just switching between frequencies, hoping for a lucky break. It gave him at least _something_ to do.

"What are you doing doctor?" Rodney turned to face Sheppard. He still felt a bit uneasy around the man but it was getting better.

"Trying to figure out the frequency of the wraith device so I can track him across the city." Sheppard was already nodding.

"That's a good idea." Shooting the major an uncertain look, Rodney nodded slightly. "Stop it." Rodney's eyebrows shot up.

"I'm sorry major, but I don't understand why I shouldn't..." Sheppard raised his hand to stop the doctor who was now completely in shock.

"Doctor Zelenka already had the same idea. It's better if you don't continue or you might start working against each other." Rodney's frown darkened, his brain trying to process what he was hearing.

"But..."

"Just let it go doctor." Sheppard turned away and headed to the team of soldiers and Rodney stared at his back, wondering _how in the world_ he could be working against someone while searching for a frequency.

* * *

><p>I was conscious and trying to get my bearings. The first thing I noticed was that I had my back to a wall and that I was sitting on the floor. Also, my ankles and wrists were bound. My eyes flew open as I started to struggle against my bonds, desperately trying to escape. Then my vision sharpened and I was faced with...<p>

"You!" Lorne grinned.

"Yes, me." I growled and started struggling even more.

"_You son of a bitch!_" His arms were quickly on my wrists, trying to stop me from moving,

"Careful. Or you'll hurt yourself." His voice was soothing but it didn't do anything to ease my struggling. I snarled at him, summoning as much poison as I could muster.

"Like you care! You _kidnapped my friends_! You _replaced_ Lorne! You _sick_ fu..." His hand flew to my mouth, covering it. I tried to bite it but he was making it impossible for me to move my jaw. Deciding to stop moving for a moment to put him off guard, I stared at him, everything I wanted to say clear in my eyes.

"Emms... I'm not a wraith. It's me. Evan." Yeah. That is exactly what a wraith would say. I would not fall for it. He kept staring at me and then sighed.

"Look. If I let go of you, do you promise to give me two minutes to prove I'm not a wraith?" Something about him was begging me to nod. He seemed so _Lorne_. Sighing internally, I nodded and he let go of my mouth.

"...ck! I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you! I want... _What the hell are you doing_?" I was struggling again but Lorne was already standing in front of me, but what made me stop my rambling was the fact he was taking off his jacket. And his shirt. And his trousers. And his shoes.

"_What the hell?!_" He shot me a sheepish look as he pulled off his briefs and I immediately averted my eyes. "What the _fuck_?!"

"Look at me." I gagged, not understanding at all what the hell was happening.

"_No_!" If this was a wraith, he was too much of a pervert to even look at. If this was Lorne... Let's just say that Kate Heightmeyre's paycheck would be having a lot of zeros on it, mainly because of him.

"This is me proving I'm not a wraith!" I snorted, staring intently at a wall next to me.

"Well how's _that_ working for you?" I could hear him sigh.

"_The device!_" And suddenly, something clicked and I looked at him. He was right.

"You're not the wraith." A relieved smile appeared on his face and he started putting his clothes back on.

"Finally." I grinned but then frowned again.

"But then who is?" He frowned back and shrugged.

"You're not." My eyebrows shot up.

"Don't tell me you..." He was shaking his head in a panic, his hands up in defense.

"No! I wouldn't... I checked your blood." That would explain the band-aid I now noticed on my arm.

"So why didn't you check your own blood in front of me instead of _stripping_?"

"Well I'm sorry about that. I managed to steal only one syringe during my hit and run of the infirmary."

"And you don't have a knife which you could have used to... I don't know... _prick your finger_?" He rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Well excuse me for not exactly being fond of stabbing myself." I snorted and shook my head. Then my thoughts turned to more serious things.

"So who do you think it could be?" He shrugged again.

"My plan was to persuade you and then make a plan." Wow, I thought. Some military leader. Always the man with the plan.

"Well for starters, you could unbind me..." He pulled out a knife (yes, the knife he should have used instead of stripping) and cut the plastic binds off, letting me stretch my fingers. Standing up, I jumped a couple of times to get my blood flowing and then faced Lorne again.

"We need to get Carson. It would be easier for him to take people's blood samples. After all, he is the doctor. If anyone would look the least suspicious running around and poking people with needles, it would be him." Lorne nodded and started running down the corridor. I ran after him, catching up in few seconds.

"How did you find me, anyways?" He grinned smugly.

"It was easy, really. Sheppard said where you were headed, so I waited for you in a place where I knew you would be passing through."

"And then you decided to stun me." It was more of a teasing remark on my side but he still shot me a guilty glance.

"I had to make sure you weren't the wraith." I laughed slightly and nodded.

"I know, I know. Calm down soldier." He laughed slightly and shook his head, speeding up slightly. I followed, hoping with all my might that we would be able to save the day one more time.

* * *

><p>Carson was in five places at once. Or so it felt to him. The number of burns was mind boggling and the only lucky thing was that there were no casualties. Fortunately, he had a great team that worked well and they were getting everything under control, managing to get the critical patients stable. He would be lying if he said he didn't feel nervous about the wraith on Atlantis but working, helping people, and saving their lives kept his mind in check.<p>

"Pssst!" He looked up, and turned around. Noticing Emily waving him over, he told the nurse what to give the patient he was looking after and walked over to the apparently very nervous scientist. She smiled at him slightly and ushered him out of the infirmary. He obeyed, a bit uneasy. Then he suddenly felt something on his back. Something that strangely reminded him of a gun. (Leaving out the stick part makes that last line really funny)

"I'm really sorry Carson but we have to do this." The surgeon shot the astrophysicist a completely astounded look. She gave him an apologetic smile and pulled out a knife, walking slowly towards him. He stood there, frozen, not daring to look around to find out who had him at gun point. Why was she doing this? It was major Lorne that was the wraith. Unless...

"It's you! You're the wraith!" She seemed to hesitate and shot an uncertain glance over his shoulder.

"We can't be sure. You still have to do it." Carson jerked and he had to try really hard not to look around. It was major Lorne's voice. Now he was completely lost. Emily finally stopped in front of him and held out her hand.

"Give me your finger." His eyes widened as he imagined all the types of torture she could pull out on him and only victimize his finger. She noticed his reluctance and sighed.

"You men are such babies!" She grabbed his hand and pricked his finger with the knife, grinning when she noticed the red blood on the knife's tip. Carson started to connect the dots just as she shot him a slightly sheepish look.

"Sorry for scaring you like that doc, but it was either that or you stripping." He noticed another look being shot over his shoulder and he felt the gun tip disappear. A couple moments later, major Lorne himself came into his view.

"Hey! In my defense, you can't say you didn't like it." Emily rolled her eyes and Carson desperately tried to ignore the strange twitch in his gut. Instead he decided to speak.

"You were checking that I wasn't the wraith. That means that neither of you are the wraith which tells us just how bloody screwed we are. What should we do now that we don't even know _who the bloody wraith is_?" Lorne started to open his mouth but Emily cut him off.

"_Shit_!" They shot her a questioning look only to see her face turn completely pale. "Let's think, shall we? Who _right now_ is in the best position to sink the city? Who has the least amount of people around him?" Carson was completely lost but he could see that Lorne wasn't.

"O_h shit_!" The astrophysicist and the soldier stared at each other for a couple of seconds, then Lorne grabbed Carson's arm and started dragging him down the corridor, following Emily who had already started running.

"What's going on?" Lorne looked at the doctor with a frown, a strange look on his face.

"We just figured out who the wraith is."

* * *

><p>This was starting to get ridiculous. Whatever Rodney tried to do, Emily and Zelenka apparently thought of it first. Not that he was allowed to coordinate with them. Sheppard wouldn't even let him have a <em>radio<em>. Also, he was getting slightly uneasy, seeing as it was over ten minutes ago that he saw any of the soldiers from the team that had been stationed with them. When he asked Sheppard about it, he said that they were checking the perimeter and then told him to get back to work. Speaking of the major... Rodney shot a curious glance in the direction he sat, bent over a console. The doctor had offered him help five times now, but Sheppard wouldn't hear it, let alone tell him what he was working on. For crying out loud! The guy wasn't even a scientist. What was he hoping to achieve on his own? At best he would only break something, at worst he would blow the city up before the wraith got the chance to sink it. Rodney sighed, deciding to try again.

"You sure you don't need any..."

"_Stop him!_" The cry came from below and when he looked over the railing, he could see Emily, Carson and... A gun clicked behind him. He turned around slowly, coming face to face with Sheppard... and eye to eye with the gun aimed at his head. Sheppard shot him a predatory grin.

"What took you guys so long?! I have him cornered!" It took Rodney much longer than it should have to realize that the major was talking about him. And even when he did, he still couldn't put the pieces together. His brain was too preoccupied with the gun in his face. He could hear footsteps and then a cry. Sheppard's grin stayed intact as he shouted over his shoulder, his eyes staying on Rodney.

"What is it?" His voice sounded concerned, but the vicious glint in his eyes showed that he knew _exactly_ what was going on.

"The team..." It was Emily's voice that spoke up but it was cut off by Carson's.

"They're alive, just unconscious." And suddenly everything clicked. Why Sheppard didn't want him to touch anything. Why Rodney hadn't seen anyone from the team stationed with them. Why Sheppard had been working on his own and didn't want any help. Why he seemed to know exactly what he was doing. Why Emily was with Carson and _Lorne_.

"You're the wraith." The major grinned wider and shot a quick look over his shoulder, then took a step forward and whispered three words that made Rodney's blood freeze in his veins.

"No. You are."

* * *

><p><strong>So that's that. I know it's short but it felt like the right place to stop. Once again, all reviews, favs and follows are very appreciated :)<strong>

**NC**


	8. Silence Falls

**So... ehm... Hi? Please don't throw stuff at me. I know It has been way too long but look! An extra long chapter, just for you! And no cliffhangers!**

**The big D: Me? Own Stargate Atlantis? Oh you! Flattery will get you everywhere ;)**

* * *

><p>Lorne got to them first. I was right in his tracks, taking in the scene before me. They were standing by the railing facing each other, Shepard blocking our view of Rodney. I still couldn't believe it. He couldn't be a wraith. My brain was running over and over the moment of my realization, the horror intensifying with every replay. I was so blind. I could hear Carson right behind me, breathing heavily and I cursed myself to seven hells. If I hadn't been so obsessed with my infatuation I would have noticed. Great job Emms. What a talent for screwing up like this every time it really mattered I raised my gun and pointed it at Sheppard's back, pushing the self-blame aside. There would be time for that later. Hours and hours in fact.<p>

"Step away from him!" Sheppard raised his hands above his head, a gun in one, a knife in the other. And on the knife...

"Stand down Jackson! I tested myself. See? Red. Blood. I'm not the wraith. He is." My eyes widened but I didn't lower my gun. Neither did Lorne. Carson gave out something that resembled a whimper but this wasn't the time for him to panic.

"Doc, go to him, slowly. I'll cover you. Take the knife from him and verify if it's really human." Carson shot me a terrified look but took a step forward past me, walking slowly to the major. But even before he made it to him and took the knife I knew that Shepard was telling the truth. I could see the bloody gash on his hand, staining the hilt of the knife. Carson took one more step closer to him. Rodney wasn't moving, just standing there, mostly out of sight. Only his legs were visible. Why wouldn't the wraith fight if Shepard had his hands up? I shot another glance at his hands and swore.

"Carson! Get away from him!" But Shepard was already turning around, the knife in his hand suddenly under Carson's neck, the gun in his other buried in the doctor's rib cage. Rodney came into view, his unconscious body propped against the railing, his hands behind it and supporting him. Carson's eyes were wide with fear and I could Lorne muttering dark curses next to me. And the wraith? He was grinning viciously at us, a glint in his eyes that spoke of torture and murder. I could only hope we wouldn't be on the list.

"Time for plan B I guess." The voice was Sheppard's but the word's weren't. And the only reason I didn't notice before, the only reason _we _didn't notice – I shot a look at Lorne - was because we didn't know the major that much. But now that I thought back to the last couple of hours, I started realizing that the signs were there. His behavior in the compound, how he mysteriously seemed to know his way around it, how he didn't want to pilot the jumper, how he didn't react to the mention of the Iratus bug incident and the list went on and on, ending with the fact that the bleeding wound was on the same hand he was holding the knife in. But it didn't matter now. Now we had to save Carson and incapacitate the wraith. But he was already moving towards us, Carson stumbling in front of him.

"I'll tell you what is going to happen now major." The wraith was eying Lorne, ignoring me more or less. Good. I could see Lorne nod his head slightly and I knew we were thinking the same thing. The wraith mistook the gesture and hissed slightly, all pretense to be Shepard now gone.

"Good. See doctor," he leaned closer to Carson's ear. "the major apparently values your life." I took minuscule steps, trying to get out of the wraith's line of sight. I was almost there. I would take him out – and then I was faced with the gun barrel, it's blackness making all the similar moments I lived through flash before my eyes. And there were many of them, let me tell you.

"Don't think I am stupid doctor Jackson. At least give me the benefit of not considering me blind. Now major, you will let me pass or I shoot the good doctor over here. Then you will not follow me. If you do, I will cut the other doctor's throat. Do you understand?" I could see Lorne nod from the corner of my eye and the wraith ushered me before him at gunpoint. Great. So now he had _two_ hostages. I begged all my stars that Lorne would come up with something that wouldn't involve a human corpse but I knew that we were running out of time. The wraith was leading us to the chair and I knew what that meant. He had Carson now, a person with a natural ancient gene. I had no idea how he planned to convince him to sink the city – I suspected he would threaten me – but I didn't plan to let it go that far. I had to save us. And then something clicked and I smiled. Of course. It was simple. Risky but simple. But how to tell Carson?

* * *

><p>He came to slowly, the whole world getting less and less fuzzy.<p>

"Doc! Hey, doc!" He groaned and blinked couple of times, his vision clearing and major Lorne came into view, leaning over him and shaking him slightly. What the _hell_ was Lorne doing in his room? He tried to get up but his entire body was protesting. He didn't feel as if he just woke up. It was more like... He groaned again, remembering what happened. Shepard was the wraith and he was going to try to convince the others that it was Rodney that was the impostor. Then he pulled out a wraith stunner and shot him with it and that was all that Rodney remembered. So why was Lorne so close? Why wasn't Rodney in a brig? He looked around and noticed he was still in the control room next to the railing.

"What happened?" He tried to sit up again and succeeded, leaning back against the railing and shooting Lorne a questioning look. Lorne gave him a serious look and stood up from where he was crouching, pulling Rodney to his feet and supporting him as he led him to the control panels.

"The wraith has Beckett and Emily hostage. I need you to find out where they are going. I already radioed for the others to come back to the control room and for the civilians to go to their rooms but we don't have much time." Rodney was already working at the consoles, nodding and then bringing up the city schematics filled with dots.

"This should be them." Rodney pointed at three dots on the screen, two really close to each other and the third a couple of steps in front of them. Lorne frowned at the screen, his eyes following the hallway the trio was walking down.

"Where is he leading them? Where does that lead to?" Rodney shot him an annoyed look.

"Practically anywhere. He could take any turn down any other hallway and we would be screwed. But seeing as we know he wants to sink the city and now that he has Beckett, it's pretty self-explanatory." This time it was Lorne with the annoyed look. Rodney sighed and turned to face the major fully, going into his _you're-so-stupid-it's-impossible _mode.

"What is special about Beckett? He has the ancient gene. What can he do with the gene? Operate the chair. What can he do in the chair? Sink the city. Do you want me to draw you a diagram?" Ignoring the murderous look he received in turn he turned back to the control panel and the laptop that was joined up to it, starting tapping away at the keyboard. "But if I manage to turn on the life support..." Lorne frowned and turned his attention back to the city schematics. Rodney turned back to him with raised eyebrows and an annoyed look.

"And maybe, while I do that, you could be at least a _little_ useful and try to find a way to save them. You know, since you messed up and let them get captured." Lorne was just about to tell McKay where he could shove it but then he remembered a conversation he had with Emily about how McKay dealt with guilt by blaming others and lashing out. So he just took a deep breath and turned to the city schematics again, watching the two dots, trying to figure out a plan.

He could feel he almost had it when suddenly all the military personal not injured and not off world led by doctor Weir and followed by doctor Zelenka entered the gate room. Weir, Zelenka and the team leaders came up to the control room to find out what happened. After Lorne explained the situation, the silence was almost palpable. Then doctor Weir spoke up.

"Do we have a plan how to stop this?" Rodney stopped his work to turn around and face her.

"Right now I'm trying to activate life support in case he succeeds and does indeed sink the city. Of course the probability of me finishing before he does so is one in, oh, I don't know, a _million_ so I would recommend a plan of action that will save Emily and Beckett and not _will not_ get all of us killed." Zelenka shot him an uncertain look.

"Maybe if I helped out doctor..." Rodney gave Zelenka a condescending look.

"Don't flatter yourself. If you helped out, the probability would be one in nine hundred and ninety nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine. _Maybe _ninety eight if I were an optimist." Zelenka took an angry breath but doctor Weir beat him to it.

"Doctor McKay, I understand that doctor Jackson is your friend but I will _not_ allow this behavior among my personal." It was clear Rodney wanted to say something but instead he just turned to the console he was working on before and after a brief hesitation, Zelenka came over to join him. Weir turned to Lorne expectantly.

"So far the only thing I was able to come up with is very risky." he began, his hands behind his back out of habit – the military position. "As far as I can tell, the only way to save the doctors is to ambush the wraith. And seeing as he has doctor Beckett so close and with a knife under his neck, it would be very risky to do so. Our only possibility is for the ambush to happen somewhere where the doctor would be out of his reach." He pointed at the schematics. "Our best bet is to do it here. Here the doctor will be more or less safe and the Wraith will be distracted." Doctor Weir observed the schematics with wide eyes, clearly not exactly fond of the idea.

"Won't it be too risky?" Lorne gave her a helpless shrug.

"It's the best chance we've got." Weir closed her eyes and then nodded, turning to the other team leaders.

"Begin the preparations."

* * *

><p>Tap..tap...tap...tap..tap...<p>

I was tapping away with my finger against my side and I was begging Carson to look there. Also, I was begging he knew Morse Code because if he didn't, we were pretty much screwed. Also I begged that he wouldn't panic and wouldn't do it now because I wasn't prepared and it had to happen at a specific place. I knew the way Rodney and Lorne thought. Rodney would try to fix the life support and Lorne would plan some sort of a rescue. And the only way to rescue us was to catch the Wraith unawares. And there was only one place where that would happen. And so I tapped away, again and again. And suddenly Carson cleared his throat and I knew he got the message. But why waste a perfectly good opportunity to get information?

"So you got us. Completely fooled us and now you can just destroy the city and... what? Drown with us? Somehow I doubt that's your plan." He seemed to ignore my little monologue but I knew he was listening. They always did.

"And how in the world do yo plan to get off of Atlantis? There are a lot of soldiers between you and the control room and I assure you that just the fact that you have us as hostages will not get you past them." I was bluffing of course. Disregarding me (Atlantis still had Rodney after all), Carson was the best doctor in the two galaxies – as far as we knew – and Weir would not risk him getting harmed. And there was the little thing with leaving no one behind... The Wraith didn't need to know that of course.

"The way I see it mate, you are pretty much screwed. What's your name, anyways? We named a wraith Todd once. How about I call you Tweedle Dee? Or even better, Tweedle Dumb. It suits you better. Then there is of course Tweedle Dumber but... Well. I wouldn't want to insult none of them by comparing them to you." I knew he could see right through me. He knew I was baiting him. I could see however – or hear, rather – that the mention of Todd had his steps falter a tiny bit. So Sheppard told him about our involuntary tenant. Good.

"You of course know who named him, don't you? Speaking about him, what else did he tell you?" It was transparent but it made him talk.

"Major Sheppard told us everything. And he will tell us more before he dies in agony." I was quite happy he couldn't see my face because then he'd know he told me exactly what I wanted to hear. Shappard's still alive. And the moment we get out of this mess, we'll save him. I wondered if the wraith knew what he told me. If he realized his mistake. But I doubted it. He wanted to rattle me and so he told me how my Sheppard would suffer. I doubt it ever crossed his bug brain that I was milking him for different sort of information.

I knew the major was still alive. All I had to do was to stay alive to tell the others.

* * *

><p>The teams were ready to go and. They would use the transporters to get as close as possible as fast as they could and then they would try to take down the wraith. They argued quite a bit about that but in the end they agreed they should try to capture the wraith, not kill him outright. After all, he was the only one who knew where Sheppard was. It was always possible the wraith that stayed behind moved him to a different planet and they needed to know where. And if he was even alive.<p>

Lorne was nervous. He couldn't tell what was making him so nervous exactly, he should be more nervous because of the threat that the wraith was to Atlantis but he knew it wasn't the reason he was so nervous. There was a different reason.

During the past couple of months he got used to Emily being on his team. He knew her back at the SGC and he knew what kind of person she was and that was the reason he asked her to join his team. But in the time she was on his team, there was that gnawing sensation in the back of his mind, telling him that his view of the team scientist was changing rapidly. Of course he knew he had to suppress it. He was right there when it happened, the thing that broke her. He saw what it did to her. There was a chance of a snowball in hell of something happening but he couldn't will the thought, the slight hope away. And now it terrified him much more that Emily could get hurt than that the entire Atlantis might sink.

* * *

><p>We soon reached the chair room and I realized I needed to stall. Turning around, I shot Carson a significant look, telling him to get ready. He blinked once, slowly. I sighed out loud, exaggerating everything. I took drama in high school and it was paying off. Taking a step closer to the wraith, I shot him a cheeky smile.<p>

"You know, it's not going to work. We had the chair disabled some time ago. To remove the temptation, so to speak." The wraith gave me a viscous stare and then removed the knife from the doctor's neck, pushing him towards the chair. He didn't believe me and I couldn't blame him. What he didn't know, however (I begged with all my mind) was that there were transporters on Atlantis. I presumed he didn't know because then he would have taken me and Carson through the transporter and we would have been here much sooner. I glanced quickly over his shoulder and smiled slightly. They were in position. I took another step closer to the wraith.

"You will sink this city underwater or I will splatter doctor Jackson's brains on the wall behind her." Carson's eyes widened with fear. I smiled at him encouragingly and took another step. Now I was in position as well.

"Don't worry Car. Just do as the food wraith says." That was the signal. Carson's eyes grew even wider and then he was falling towards the ground. The wraith started to move the gun towards the seemingly unconscious body but that was just the opportunity I needed. I was close enough so I did exactly what Jack taught me and kicked upwards, making the gun leave the wraith's grasp, spiraling away and falling to the ground. The wraith growled and turned to face me. I could hear the teams that were waiting outside come in and surround us but my eyes were watching every twitch, every movement of the wraith in front of me. He still had the knife but he was surrounded. There was no way he would be able to escape and both of us knew that if we didn't need him for questioning, he would be dead right now.

I could hear Carson get up from next to the chair and hurry behind the line of soldiers and I exhaled. It was a risky move. If the wraith was only a little bit faster or if I was just a tiny bit slower, who knows how this would have played out. But now Carson was safe and the wraith had no hope of escaping.

"You do realize that you coming here was an extremely dumb move?" My voice was cheerful but I knew my eyes screamed murder. "I think both of us know how this is going to go. You will try to do something stupid like stab someone – maybe even yourself – with that knife and I will stop you. Maybe I'll get injured in the process but the outcome will be the same. You will get locked up and we will get the major's location out of you whatever it might take." I took a threatening step a tiny bit closer, still out of reach of the knife but close enough to get my point across.

"It might surprise you but I'm quite good at interrogations. _Especially_ the painful kind." His eyes narrowed. Maybe he knew I was bluffing, maybe he didn't. But after a couple of hesitant seconds he dropped the knife he was holding and was soon surrounded by soldiers. I let out a slow breath and found Lorne in the crowd around me, smiling slightly. It was over. I took a couple of steps towards him and he met me half way, hugging me. I returned the hug awkwardly, not knowing how to react. Lorne was always a friend, but he was never the physical kind. Then again, today's events took quite a toll on all of us. They got captured, we went to rescue them, they got rescued, we came back to Atlantis, we found out that there was a wraith on Atlantis, we suspected Lorne, we found out it wasn't Lorne, me and Carson got snatched, the wraith almost sank the city and then the wraith got captured. All in all, a busy day all around. So I hugged him back slightly, appreciating the contact.

He pulled back after a couple of seconds and grinned at me.

"So tell me doc, how many painful interrogations did you go through?" I grinned back at him and shrugged.

"Quite a couple. Then again, it was me who was being interrogated at the time but," I nodded in the direction of the wraith who was just being taken away "_He_ didn't need to know that." He rolled his eyes but his grin widened. I was just about to tell him about Sheppard being alive when I spotted someone who made me push Lorne aside.

"_Rodney!_" I threw my arms around his neck, laughing, ecstatic to see him alive and well. The last time I saw him he was unconscious and it was a relief to see him – now that I pulled back again – scowling slightly, but with that cheerful spark in his eyes.

"You just _had to_ go and get yourself captured, didn't you." I rolled my eyes at him but the smile didn't leave my face. I turned back to Lorne – was it just me, or did he look a tiny bit hurt? - and spoke up.

"Sheppard is alive. I don't know where but I'm pretty sure Tweedle knows the location." Lorne nodded, seeming slightly confused at my nickname but getting the gist of it and turned to the soldiers to give out orders. I spotted somebody else I wanted to talk to and walked over to him.

"Carson? Are you alright?" It was a stupid question. While I pretty much got used to the near-death experiences, as far as I knew this was the first time for him. He was sitting, leaning against a wall, his eyes unfocused. I sat down next to him and nudged his shoulder slightly.

"You did good." He didn't react, only turned to look at me. "I'm impressed that you knew Morse Code but I gotta ask: did you fake the fainting that well because you took acting or is it because you saw so many people faint in your life that it was just easy to copy it?" He raised his eyebrow at my attempt to lighten the mood but I could tell it worked.

"It's not that hard to fake fainting, you know? After all, I was not that far from fainting myself." I grinned and let my head fall against the wall behind me. Today was a long day.

* * *

><p>The brig was dark and it was unnaturally cold there. The ancients apparently knew a thing or two about torture so they kept the temperature just low enough for it to feel uncomfortable. A human, a well trained soldier wouldn't crack just because of that fact but it would help to bring down their spirits. It was a tactic used quite regularly on Earth. However, the wraith didn't seem to be bothered by the temperature drop at all. He just stood there, looking at us in that way that made you feel patronized. Well, I'll give him patronization.<p>

Lorne was the one leading the interrogation and he let me be there only for one reason: I spent some time with the wraith and during that brief interaction I got some information out of him. I was here just to unsettle him. Now our roles were quite literally reversed. Now he was the prisoner and I was the one in control. There was also the small unfortunate fact that even though Atlantis was safe from the threat, the wraith knew now that he was being interrogated. He was on guard and it would be much harder to get information out of him. I shot a nervous look at Lorne. The longer it took us to get the information out of the wraith, the smaller probability that Sheppard was still alive.

"So I hear your name is Tweedle." Lorne's voice was perfectly level, calm and unwavering. He knew what he was doing. Or at least he was a good enough actor to make people around him think that. The wraith didn't move except for raising his eyebrow. He was still in the Sheppard form because it was deemed too risky to try to locate the device on him and it was adding quite a bit of freakishness to this situation – seeing a man we all knew, however briefly to act so much unlike himself.

"Not exactly a name I would have chosen but I understand that creativity could have been a bit scarce at gunpoint." I frowned slightly and shot another look in Lorne's direction. What was he doing? Small talk had never worked with a wraith before. He ignored my glance and continued.

"We have dealt with the wraith before but none of them were quite like you." Lorne's gaze turned freezing cold. "While other wraith have been savage, more bug than human, you have proven yourself cunning and quite able to impersonate a human being. A human being that is currently in your _care_." The word "care" slipped through his lips like the most lethal curse, making my spine shiver. This was not the Lorne I knew. This was a man willing to go past any line to save a member of this expedition. Any line of morality, any limits of conscience. I knew he was bluffing of course – in a way – but it still made me weary of him. If that wrath of that single word had been directed at me, I would have crumbled.

"You have no idea what you have done. Others will come in my stead." The wraith's voice was as level as the major's, his eyes steady. They were well matched. Lorne's lips twitched upwards slightly into a tight smile, his eyes staying ice cold.

"Oh and haven't we heard that song sun many times, over and over again. But you know what?" He leaned in closer to the wraith. "Every single time the threat was as empty as yours was just now. You can't beat us. You might think you're better than us, smarter, more advanced, more hunger driven..." The wraith shivered at the word hunger. Yes. He was hungry and Lorne knew that very well. "But there is one thing the wraith don't have. One thing that will cost all of you this war you have started." The wraith's eyes narrowed. He was asking us but not really. He didn't want to appear weak before his captors. Lorne leaned back in his chair, stretching slightly, the ice in his eyes disappearing, suddenly his whole person resembling a rugged boy.

"So let me tell you what. You tell us where Sheppard is, you tell us his location and I will not only let you go but I will also tell you what that thing is. What do you say, Tweed?" The wraith was calculating, thinking of all the possibilities and dismissing them just as fast. The wraith were animalistic and their first instinct was that of self-preservation. After a couple of seconds, the wraith gave Lorne a cold smile of his own.

"You're bluffing. If there was such a weapon here, the Lanteans would have used it ten thousand years ago." Lorne's smile widened and a glimmer in his eyes told me he knew he had won.

"Who said anything about the Lanteans? It is something that only we humans appear to possess – excluding a couple of exceptions. Would you like to put it to the test?" This wraith was different. I could tell. He was savage, yes. But he also seemed to have that little bit bigger dose of self-preservation than the others we've encountered. He seemed to take in everything there was to see of Lorne and then he nodded slightly.

"Very well." He told us the address of the planet as well as the location of the base. Lorne gave him one more look of contempt and then he turned around and headed for the door. The wraith spoke up.

"Major. You have still to mention what your weapon is." Lorne grinned and looked over his shoulder, shrugging slightly.

"Not exactly a weapon when you think about it. The thing we have and you don't?" He shot me a grin and a wink. "It's people who watch your back." And then we left the brig accompanied by the wraith's angry growls.

* * *

><p>I sighed happily and stretched out on my bed, watching the sun shine in through the window. Very surprisingly the wraith had been honest with the location so after a couple of hours we managed to rescue Sheppard and he was cleared after many many tests imposed on him both by Carson and Kate Heightmeyer. We were all just glad that it was over and all of us got a day of to sleep and relax and damn it if we didn't deserve it. All of us were shaken, Sheppard the most and most of us were walking corpses just ready for bed.<p>

I was just about to close my eyes when the door beeped. Swearing quietly I stood up and opened the door, doing my best not to wince when I saw that it was Carson standing there. Didn't he have better things to do? Like perhaps sleep?

"Carson. What can I do to you?" He seemed nervous and that was the moment I realized we didn't finish our little talk. So this was what this was about. I invited him in and sat down on the bed, motioning to a chair for him to sit on. He did and then turned to me. It was clear he was about to speak but I wanted it over and done with. Yes, I had feelings for him. But these feelings would never lead to anything and he had to realize it as soon as possible so that he wouldn't go chasing for something that just wasn't possible in my current state.

"I know why you're here." He was just about to speak but I cut him off, staring at my feet intently. I couldn't do this facing him so this was my strategy to avoid doing so. "I'm not denying there is a certain amount of chemistry between us but it's not going to happen." I could hear him take a breath so I hurriedly continued. "I know I owe you an explanation so here it is: When I was in SG-1, there was someone I cared for very dearly. In fact at the time – even though I pretty much knew I was deluding myself – I even began planing our future together. I was going to quit my job and be with him wherever he would take me. Everyone was more or less acceptant, if not happy for us. And then our future collapsed in a single blaster shot." I found some strength to look up at him, my calm eyes meeting his wide ones. He knew what I meant.

"So you see, since then I have pretty much been emotionally screwed. And that is also the reason why you and me..." I made a little motion with my hand between us to emphasize my point. "Never gonna happen." We stared at each other for a couple of moments and then he smiled slightly – a strained smile – nodding his head.

"Of course. Quite understandable." He stood up, preparing to leave but suddenly I didn't want him to. I didn't want him to leave like this.

"Carson?" He stopped and turned around to look at me, a carefully guarded expression on his face. I didn't know what to say. I didn't plan this far.

"Yes?" And then I realized that I was that selfish. If I couldn't have him, I'd at least keep him close. I smiled a little smile and shrugged.

"Rodney and me are having a late breakfast this afternoon at three for us late sleepers. Would you like to join us?" He gave me another smile, this time a genuine one and nodded.

"Aye, I'd like that." And then he left my room, leaving me to fall backwards on my bed and to wonder whether I just made one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

* * *

><p><strong>AN So another chapter behind us. And between this one and the next there will be a pretty big time skip. If I don't do that then the story would have a gazillion words and we don't want that. I love to hear your thoughts. Stay tuned in...**

**NC**


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